Good evening all. This is LDM for E-I news. Our top headlines tonight: most humiliating moment in football ever; waterspout occurs off Aussie coast; tips on evading the recent E.coli spread; and finally tonight, an update regarding the future of E-I news.
First this evening, a Brazilian football player has become an internet phenomenon after what can be described as the most humiliating moment ever in the history of the game. The build up to the scoring opportunity was rather skillful, however the finishing was... Well there is only one way to describe what transpired next: SUPER-AWESOME-ULTRA-MEGA-RAYDEN-FAIL!!! Here is a link to what can only be called the biggest f*ck up in football history: http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/blogs/...article/50276/
Next this evening, a waterspout has been spotted just off the coast of New South Wales, kangaroo country. This natural phenomenon is formed by a high layer of cold air blowing across water, and clashing with the warm air below. Various sea life is often caught up in the funnel, and then dumped many miles away on land. Why call them waterspouts? Aqua twisters or hydro hurricanes sounds a lot more catchy in my opinion but... Here's a video link to said waterspouts (cripes, for a natural phenomenon, waterspout just doesn't sound very intimidating): http://uk.news.yahoo.com/waterspout-...110515263.html
Those of you who were here for last night's E-I news may remember my article about the killer cucumbers that are spreading a deadly form of E.coli like mad. Well in order to better protect yourselves, here is some general advice on how to avoid the latest E.coli outbreak. I'm afraid to report that this doesn't bode well for any veggies out there, or any of you who who enjoy tomatoes and lettuce (I personally make love to lettuce but anyway...) and as I said last night, those of you who stick cucumbers up your trap door will, for the time being, have to find alternative toys. http://uk.health.lifestyle.yahoo.net...atching-it.htm
Now... The sad part. Some of you may be upset to hear this (doc, Benny), while most of you will probably find this incredibly orgasmic (I ain't naming anyone specifically, but that langer from Cork could possibly be among this group). It saddens me to report that tomorrow night's edition of E-I news, will be the last... It's had a good run, so I want to thank all my loyal viewers, the staff, and even that f*cking strumpet Ruby (whom btw is f*cking doc and Benny after cheating on me...) for all your continued support whilst making these news reports.
This has been LDM for E-I news. Have a pleasant evening of w*nking or for those of you lucky enough, f*cking.