Originally Posted by
I Wear The Trousers
Well that was a strange experience to say the least! Unfortunately, I cannot say it was particularly positive, but then I guess I have to accept the blame for this (or do I?). I’m hoping someone can confirm that what happened was normal for a first time experience.
Ok, so I received her coded directions for the apartment, which made me feel like a secret agent on some important mission. No problem there, she has to preserve her safety.
My nerves were jangling as I approached the door -- what I needed was to be put me at ease and let it flow from there. What happened had the opposite effect. The lady that greeted me was the girl in the photos (which was a big relief considering she had no reviews) and a real corker; however, what felt like a split second after saying hello, she demanded payment.
I’m not saying this is necessarily a bad thing, but it completely threw me off my stride. She didn’t ask aggressively, just abruptly. I felt that, seeing as I was visibly nervous, a more tactful approach would have been more welcome. I awkwardly handed over the e130.
Anyway, she led into the main area of the apartment, where this awkward silence took over. I’m not the best at talking to girls, so this began to get a bit torturous. I have to say, it didn’t help that she had so little English.
I stared awkwardly around the basic but comfortably modern apartment, trying desperately to think of what to say, when, after a few agonising moments, another event that was both as weird as it was unsettling occurred.
I noticed a packet of Hobnobs on the kitchen table. Seeing as I was bereft of anything to say, I asked if I could have one. Of course she consented, but I swear there was a hint of resentment in the tone of her voice! It felt like I was pushing the boundaries by asking. I know you probably think I’m being neurotic – and maybe the nerves were playing tricks on my mind – but that’s how I felt at the time.
At this point I did contemplate leaving: I reckon she sensed this, as a can of Prazky was offered and weakly accepted. The next part of this absurd story will probably be seen as ultra petty, but this sums up the strange mood I was in. I noticed that she too had a drink, but hers was a bottle of Heineken, something that made me feel put out for some strange reason.
I did go through with the act, but really shouldn’t have – how can you enjoy yourself when the atmosphere and mood just aren’t in the right place? Of course I wasn’t up to much and had to finish myself off manually; something I had always laughed at when I read about it in other reviews. I always thought it’d be impossible not to finish the deed naturally with a beautiful woman beneath you.
When my 30 minutes were up she was very quick to let me know about it, and off I went – no doubt with a more than startled expression on my face. Oh well.
I guess I made a rookie mistake somewhere? Perhaps I’m just not cut out for this punting business.
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