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Thread: I thought this was brilliant

  1. #1
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    Default I thought this was brilliant

    AN ACTUAL AD IN AN AMERICAN NEWS PAPER
    AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
    To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
    Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.
    I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
    First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
    I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
    After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
    I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
    I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
    Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
    The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc..).
    ;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!
    Thoughtfully yours,
    Alex

  2. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to takemedrunkimhome For This Useful Post:

    BIGTYM2010 (12-05-11), Doozer (12-05-11), dr love (12-05-11), Forrest (12-05-11), skyliner (13-05-11)

  3. #2
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    Default

    It is brilliant TMDIH
    Thanks for sharing............probably the best retribution and I wish we could all take similar action when faced with these lowlifes............ Muggers, Burglars etc

    Engaging Personality
    Mesmerising Eyes
    Magnificent Ass
    Adorable Lady
    Sexy, Wicked, Enticing, Erotic, Tease

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    takemedrunkimhome (12-05-11)

  5. #3
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    I'm actually too lazy to read the whole thing so I'm just gonna say that it's awesome for the sake of it...
    I'm not insane, I'm adorably bonkers!!!

    Frumsp & LDM Industries

  6. #4
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    excelent revenge, but why did he go and key the car????.i know his intention was to get some badasses after him , but why engage in criminal damage? ..am i a liberal softie
    a thousand kisses deep..

  7. #5
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    Now that's what you call kick ass .. doc
    Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
    People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do .: doc

  8. #6
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    Brilliant! Revenge is sweet.

  9. #7
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by takemedrunkimhome View Post
    AN ACTUAL AD IN AN AMERICAN NEWS PAPER
    AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD
    To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
    Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.
    I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
    First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
    I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
    After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
    I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
    I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
    Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
    The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc..).
    ;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!
    Thoughtfully yours,
    Alex
    PMSL !!! No that's a long thread worth reading,excellent thanks for sharing it pal
    If you have any information in relation to human trafficking/pimped ladies

    *Act responsibly freephone 1800 25 00 25 *

    That one call could save a life

  10. #8
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    Default

    Nice one i think he better change his career before his luck runs out .

  11. #9
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    Default

    that wasnt dirty harry was it?!

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    Doozer (12-05-11)

  13. #10
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