This is taking it too far...........
This 60 year old man claims that "thieves" shoved the entire Coca-cola bottle in his anus (insert breaking and entering joke here) showing us that sometimes, when people tell you exactly whereto shove something that sometimes, just sometimes, they mean it (and are willing to help.)
He was constipated for days, probably because the entire bottle of Coca-cola was kind of in the way, and was eventually admitted to the hospital.
Medical records indicate that the doctors had to use a number of tools to get that refreshing beverage out of there, including extra long forceps and some sort of creepy vacuum from hell. No bomb squad was called for this incident, despite how shaken up the Coke was (about the whole thing.)