Enough already !

[oneeyedreilly]

You've had some great advice already. I have been there myself and for me the important thing is to realise that if it's over, it's over. No point in trying to chase a dead cause. After that, the main thing is to try and keep everything on a civil basis. It's hard enough to deal with the situation if you can talk to each other but no communication just makes life difficult and more expensive. It's cheaper tp sort out as much as you can together than make the solicitors richer. All that aside, there is life afterwards and things can only get better. In hindsight, it was the best thing that could have happened for me.

[Morpheus]

That's it, I've had it. I can take no more abuse from my wife, my heart has finally been be smashed. She's now back in contact with her ex fiancé and I'm done, I'm a broken man. So to all you guys that are divorced or separated that seem so happy, I need advice. How do you start afresh. I'm actually making a plea for help as I've no strength left. I know there's going to be a few guys I know from the boards that will answer truthfully so could the piss takers please leave this alone.
Thanks !

I am truly sorry for what you are going through N73. I don't have any advice, but a lot of the posters have given heart-felt honest advice. And Violette's advice seems outstanding!

I think you're an honest, upstanding fella. One of the good guys. And I hate to see this happening to you. Just wanted to offer my support.

[john connor]

cant really add to what has been said before other than to say i am very sorry to hear of your problems.
the advice that has been given on this thread is sound and i hope you find it helpful.
There will be no win situation here just damage limitation. it will hurt, it will feel like shit, it will not be nice.
if these problems have been going on a long time however and you commit to ending it i feel at the other side you will see light.
I am not a big talker in my marriage and this causes problems for me when trouble starts so if you can at all, talk it through with her no matter what the outcome. i know thats hard when she is meeting old flames.
sometimes all this shit flares up because people feel personally hurt over the way others treat them, so before all is over you owe it to yourself to discuss all issues at least then if it cannot work you can sleep easy in that u gave it your best shot and if she will not talk or is a total bitch about it that will answer all your questions too.
good look friend, keep positive and remember to keep a good circle of people around you

[volvic11]

Great Thread, i feel for you n73 I'm kinda going through the same crap at the moment although not as bad.
Looking through some of the replys there is some really great advice there but I think the common theme is that if it's gone, it's gone, I know it's easy to say but you just have to draw a line in the sand and move on and not fill your head with crap.
It's a bit like giving up smoking, there are a million reasons not to quit but your really better off without them.

[medicine man]

n73 what can I say... That's as shitty as it gets.
Been through the same myself - 5 years ago I had my heart ripped out
There is some fine advice here from those who have trodden these steps.

For my part try and avoid the tempting self destructive behaviours - drink etc
Lost myself in that, only to wake up 2 weeks later feeling even worse and having made an ass of myself.

Try to find a focus for yourself that at the same time looks after yourself, while you deal with the practical issues.
I think Violette mentioned boxing in the gym, for me I turned from beefy rugby guy into trim marathon runner - couldn't stop running. Any time I'd think of the situation I'd go for a run, it would clear my mind for several hours and relax you.
Eventually your mind eases on you but it will take some time.

I do honestly think that you are off on this difficult path on the right foot, admitting that you are hurt to yourself (and us), that shows a fine character. I wish you all the best fella...

[kelso]

well man you have our sympathy, ive noticed a theme in some of ur threads recently and i think you get a lot of good sage advice already; i cant add to it except to say this; if you are sure its over then make sure you have a friend or friends oyu can talk to about this, in my case i bottled a lot of the grief up cos im a private person, this is the single worst thing you can do to yourself, counseling worked to a point for me but i left that after 3 meetings, it may work better for you;
also a new activity or interest is a great thing to take your mind off the problem, eventually you will get pasat this and your life will be far far happier

[Blond chick NIKKY]

That's it, I've had it. I can take no more abuse from my wife, my heart has finally been be smashed. She's now back in contact with her ex fiancé and I'm done, I'm a broken man. So to all you guys that are divorced or separated that seem so happy, I need advice. How do you start afresh. I'm actually making a plea for help as I've no strength left. I know there's going to be a few guys I know from the boards that will answer truthfully so could the piss takers please leave this alone.
Thanks !

I am so sorry to hear that. Hope u will be ok soon. Stay strong!

xxxxx

[ciara]

Sorry I can't do anything to help babe oh yeah I can, I can do U  but seriously she mustn't know a good thing when she has it as your an absolute pleasure a little break away Inc lots of booze and stripper clubs and surround yourself with ppl u count close and enjoy the company of ie friends and family .... Oh and me haha xxxxx

[mellors]

I've been in that sort of similar situation, married for 15yrs now been seperated for 2yrs.
Viollette gives excellent advice, I just walked away with nothing, it seemed pointless to fight over material things, because thats all they are just things.(My ex by the way was in no way a bitch,far from it so it made it easier). Try and stay civil towards each other,easier said than done sometimes I know, but it really is the best way for your self preservation. I think sometimes the apprehension of being by yourself is often worse than the reality. Sure you'll bump along the bottom for awhile, but you'll come to the decision one day that I'm actually happier now than I was before, Then its great !

[Blond chick NIKKY]

I've been in that sort of similar situation, married for 15yrs now been seperated for 2yrs.
Viollette gives excellent advice, I just walked away with nothing, it seemed pointless to fight over material things, because thats all they are just things.(My ex by the way was in no way a bitch,far from it so it made it easier). Try and stay civil towards each other,easier said than done sometimes I know, but it really is the best way for your self preservation. I think sometimes the apprehension of being by yourself is often worse than the reality. Sure you'll bump along the bottom for awhile, but you'll come to the decision one day that I'm actually happier now than I was before, Then its great !

Real GENTLEMAN ♥