Cant Sleep

[willyup]

The feckin smoke alarm went off at 2am, I woke up and smelled something burning so off I went sprinting down the stairs in me undercrackers and there was me mammy (whos staying at the moment) wondering why the kitchen was full of smoke.

She had decided, at 2am ffs, to cook herself a quiche and had switched the grill on instead of the oven causing a bit of a problem as the grill pan was still full of grease from the last time I used it.

Anyway after ensuring meself, me mammy and all me worldly goods were safe from being turned into cinders I realized I'd run out of cigs.
So off I go in search of an open garage and along the way something struck me.
The amount of women out walking alone at this time of night in places they shouldnt be really took me by surprise. I wanted to stop and say "Are you mad? Get a cab for God's sake" but then if I had I'd probably have been cuffed and stuffed before I could say "it's a fit up guvnor!"

Anyway back home and wide awake.