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Thread: what not to say when calling to make apointment......

  1. 10-03-11, 21:03 #11
    ChiefHandker
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    Quote Originally Posted by lucy chambers View Post
    Things not to say when trying to book an escort

    1. I havent got any money, could I possibly pay you next week?

    2. Excuse me a minute, I just need to shut the kids up

    3. Can I bring my dog?

    4. If I make you come is it half price?

    5. Can you bring your dog?

    6. I know your Daddy. He is a lovely man.

    7. Can we do a three for two deal?

    8. You don't mind a wee rash? I have had it for a while but it stopped itching months ago

    9. I have e20, two gold teeth and a swimming medal. How about it?

    Or, La piece de resistance, fresh from my email box, do not try this...

    HELLO,
    I AM ENGINEER JOAN HENRY FROM UK........ LITTLE ABOUT ME.I AM FROM DUBLIN, IRELAND BUT I WAS RAISE IN LIVERPOOL UNITED KINGDOM.I AM 29 YEARS OLD.I TAKE MEDICAL CHECK UP SERIOUSLY WITH A GREAT PERSONALTY.I WILL NEED YOU ON MY TOUR TO AFRICA ON THE 25TH OF FEBRUARY AND I WILL BE THERE FOR 8 DAYS, I WILL NEED YOU TO ESCORT ME TO AFRICA IN NIGERIA REPUBLIC.JUST CHECK YOUR ADS OUT ON *** site name deleted ***.COM AND FOUND YOU SO COOL AND DECIDED PICK YOU.PLEASE MAIL ME BACK IF YOU WANT TO GO WITH ME. I AM READY TO OFFER YOU A GOOD SUM. HOPE 2000 POUNDS PER DAY FOR ONE WEEK (8DAYS) IS THAT OKAY? AND UPFRONT WILL BE PAID TO YOU EVEN BEFORE YOU LEAVE YOUR STATE. ALL NECESSARY DOCUMENT WILL BE ARRANGED, SO FEEL FREE TO GET BACK TO ME ASAP ONLY IF YOU ARE WILLING TO GO WITH ME.


    Ho hum. I am so looking forward to coming back to work.
    Damnit if i'd known you were goin to Nigeria i would've asked you to pick up that cheque from my long lost cousin.

    Just out of curiosity, how many of those 9 have you been asked?
    Last edited by carlos marvado; 11-03-11 at 14:33. Reason: Quotation amended
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  2. 10-03-11, 21:06 #12
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    mellors
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    Sounds fantastic Lucy, although a little confused, don't forget to do the lottery whilst you're out there !
    Come in she said "I'll give you shelter from the storm "
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  3. 10-03-11, 21:07 #13
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    Lucy Chambers
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChiefHandker View Post
    Damnit if i'd known you were goin to Nigeria i would've asked you to pick up that cheque from my long lost cousin.

    Just out of curiosity, how many of those 9 have you been asked?
    Five. All deadly serious.
    If life gives you lemons ask for Tequila

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  4. 10-03-11, 21:09 #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by mellors View Post
    Sounds fantastic Lucy, although a little confused, don't forget to do the lottery whilst you're out there !
    I have given it great thought ( speedread it) and, after much deliberation (laughing my socks off) I have decided to respectfully decline his invitation to La La Land. (Told him to get a gripsicle) I told him to say hello to Abu and Mingele for me though
    If life gives you lemons ask for Tequila

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  6. 10-03-11, 21:10 #15
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    banterboy
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    I try to avoid "are you free tomorrow"

    It's never free!
    Last edited by banterboy; 10-03-11 at 21:11.
    It's only wrong if you get caught!!
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  8. 10-03-11, 21:12 #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by banterboy View Post
    I try to avoid "are you free tomorrow"

    It's never free!
    Oops, and that reminds me.

    11. Are you open?
    If life gives you lemons ask for Tequila

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  9. 10-03-11, 21:16 #17
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    Great thread
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  11. 10-03-11, 21:24 #18
    carlos marvado
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    Quote Originally Posted by ciara View Post
    When ppl whisper it kind of creeps me out oh and the real heavy beathing while asking what I'm wearing lol and when ppl ask am I still "open" haha of this list will grow :P
    Just tell him the shop is still open and full of customers getting the last of the special offers.
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  13. 10-03-11, 23:56 #19
    denise89
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    as an update folks....i got a call wearlyer about a felow wanting to tread me a 30 minute sesion...and hel bring me hes couch....!anyone buying ? i`m selling?
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  14. 10-03-11, 23:59 #20
    willyup
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    Quote Originally Posted by denise89 View Post
    as an update folks....i got a call wearlyer about a felow wanting to tread me a 30 minute sesion...and hel bring me hes couch....!anyone buying ? i`m selling?
    Hang on, a guy offered you a couch in return for a 30 minute appointment? And you agreed?
    If thats the case I have an old mountain bike here I'd be happy to cycle to yours in return for an hour of your companionship.
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