Hello. My name is Mousey, and I have a confession to make.
It's time I told you good folks on E-I the truth. I have several different profiles that I use to take the piss out of people around the boards, and sometimes I even hold conversations with myself in order to appear to be popular.
I have been thinking long and hard about this situation, and have decided it cannot continue. I have decided that I need to tell you all about my other profiles, in the hope that I don't lose any more friends.
This is incredibly difficult for me to type.
The truth is, as some of you have suspected for some time - I and Alec Horan are the same person.
There, I said it. Now you know. But there's more.
It therefore follows that I am also all of Alec Horan's other profiles. I realise that most of you are probably shocked at this incredible revelation, and you have every right to be outraged and insulted at how I have been doing this for so long.
Well, I think I can make amends.
Mods - I no longer wish to have my other profiles. I only want to concentrate on the Mousey profile, which I think you'll agree, is an all-round daycent fellow.
I hereby solemnly and sincerely request that you ban all my other profiles associated with me. These are:
King of the Trolls
Spewey and Nooner
and many more that I can't remember right now.
Please ban all of these fuckers as soon as possible. I want to get them all out of my head and set the record straight on E-I.
Please, look into my eyes and see that it's the right thing to do. Should any of the ladies feel the need to tickle my belly in comfort, then please go ahead.
Thank you for your patience and understanding in this matter.