It's Oh So Quiet ......

[Banjo]

..... a light touch of insomnia has me on here at 5am. I'm tip-toeing around, everyone's asleep, catching their zzz's. There's no arguments, no tap tap tap keyboard sounds. All I can hear is the slow rhythmic breathing of everyone on the boards as they recharge the batteries in readiness for the next day.

It's like The Night Before Christmas ..... and all through the boards. Not a creature was stirring, not even the mods.

The panties and stockings all retired for the night, in the hope that Mr. Sun will bring his first light.

The boys and girls all nestled in their beds, with visions of Ms. Chambers dancing in their heads.

And Forrest in his 'kerchief and Rayden in his cap, had just settled down, with Ms. Sizzle in their lap.

When out on the forum there arose such a clatter, Jackie sprang from her rack to see what was the matter.

Away to window she flew like a flash, tripped over her whip and landed in the trash.

Well f**k it and damn it she howled like a baboon, this better be good or there'll be bannings 'till noon.

When what to her piercing black eyes should appear, but Samlad and Lincoln both pissed on cheap beer.

They were giggling and laughing with two cod and chips. They were looking for vinegar but found only dips.

"Well f**k 'em" says Jackie, they'll wake the whole house. And then there'll be war 'cause we all know Mr. Mouse.

He don't like to be disturbed, he gets into a rage. If you disturb him asleep he'll break out of his cage.

Jackie crept to the kitchen, caught the two by the arm. "Will you shut up for f**k sake or you'll do loads of harm".

"Get into your beds and do it right quick. If I see you again I'll chop off your dick".

Afraid for their mickeys they ran like the clappers, jumped straight into bed like two dirty knackers.

Pulled up their two sheets and sucked on their thumb. They didn't want Jackie kicking their bum.

Jackie smirked and felt good as she finished off their chips. Had a smoke and a drink, then turned round on her hips.

Got the fright of her life when out from above, came Ciara and Fiona with Rayden and Doc Love.

They were flushed and looked hot, they'd obviously been f*****g. They were looking at Jackie, who was about to start bucking.

The room went all cold, like a big bag of ice. They knew they were f****d, but hoped she'd be nice.

Jackies eyes went all red, her bra snapped right off. Her knickers were twisted and she started to cough. "Now f**k it and damn it and crap it and more, bollox and gee" she said with a roar.

By now it was ruined, all were well out of bed. They came to the hall all scratching their head.

There was Rodney and Monster and Morpheus and Dave, Shirleyy and Nicole and Alicia and Maeve.

They all wondered if they should try f*****g too, but with the way things were looking they all ran for the loo.

"You're all banned, you're all banned, you're all banned" they all heard. With Jackie gone mad they had all become scared.

They huddled in the jax hoping she's go soon enough. But she sat on the floor, this night would be rough.

She waited and waited, and finally threw it in. "Good night to you all, you're going in the bin".