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Thread: Transcript of secret mod meeting

  1. #1
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    Default Transcript of secret mod meeting

    A transcript of a secret meeting by the E-I management, as overheard by Mousey last night in the cold, dank depths of the Patcave.


    NICOLE
    Doozer, I'm horny. I'm always horny, you know. Horny horny horny.

    DOOZER
    I just came in for my two hundred and fifty quid. Besides, you're a bloke!

    NICOLE
    I'm still horny...

    DOOZER
    Forget it.

    PATRICIA
    Hello, everyone, and welcome to this month's management meeting. Remember, we call ourselves managers of the site to make ourselves sound like professionals, like doctors or stockbrokers, so make sure none of you refer to yourselves as "prostitution-enablers" or anything like that, or we might end up in the clink. Now, I'll take a roll-call. Samlad?

    SAMLAD
    Here!

    PATRICIA
    Ah, eager as always. Doozer?

    DOOZER
    Here!

    PATRICIA
    Nicole?

    NICOLE
    Here. And horrrrrny.

    PATRICIA
    Put it back in your pants, Nick. Jackie?

    VAMPIREJACKIE
    Sorry, I'm a bit late today. I was at a swingers party last night. I'm a swinger, you know. I swing. Did I mention I swing?

    PATRICIA
    Yes.

    JACKIE
    Oh. It's just that - well, I find it makes the punters more empathetic towards me on the boards if they think I might be up for it.

    NICOLE
    I'm up for it. I love sex. I'm always horrrrny.

    DOOZER
    Is tehre such a word as empatehtic?

    PATRICIA
    It doesn't matter. Now look, what are we going to do about the boards? Things are heating up - there have been several bannings and there are rumblings of discontent amongst the regular posters, who are, after all, the lifeblood of our community. What's going on?

    SAMLAD
    Don't worry, boss, they'll fall into line. The bannings will continue until morale improves.

    JACKIE
    They must learn to respect our authority over them! Ban ban ban!

    DOOZER
    Tehre seems to be a perception taht we don't get satire. Is taht true?

    NICOLE
    Huh?

    JACKIE
    What?

    SAMLAD
    Come again?

    DOOZER
    Uh, satire. Sat-eye-errrrr. It's a real word. A form of comedy, apparently. It's in teh dictionary.

    JACKIE
    I don't know what it means, but I probably don't like this "satire". It's like people trying to be funny on the boards; If I see anyone being satirical, I'll ban them.

    SAMLAD
    Me too.

    NICOLE
    I'd like to be satirised right here, right now, all over my wet lips.

    PATRICIA
    It's great to boss people around, eve if it is on the Internet. But what about if the punters find the posts amusing, and we don't? With our wildly varying personal tastes in humour, how can we enforce a consistent standard of moderation?

    SAMLAD
    What? Are you suggesting that we mods don't have a consistent sense of humour? We like humour. We can be funny. We're normal people too, you know. Just because we've all taken jobs on "Escort Ireland" with all the moral quandaries that it might entail to another person doesn't mean we're not unemployable weirdoes who can't get proper jobs in real life. Besides, it's the Internet. If the punters knew I was a cross-eyed alcoholic hunchback with a criminal record they'd lose all respect for my position as a mod.

    JACKIE
    Yes. We must continue to exercise total moral authority. Is this meeting going to go on much longer? Only I'm supposed to be going swinging later and I have some people to ban.

    PATRICIA
    Not much longer. One last question. What are we going to do about Mousey? I've been watching him and it's only a matter of time before he starts an inane thread trying to take the piss out of us all.

    JACKIE
    That smug little shit. One day he'll slip up, and then I'll ban him.

    SAMLAD
    Not if I ban him first. I hate people who are smarter than me.

    PATRICIA
    Very well. All of us keep an extra special eye on the Mouse. Any further business?

    NICOLE
    Will someone have sex with me?

    PATRICIA
    This meeting is adjourned.

    ************************************

  2. The Following 32 Users Say Thank You to Mousey For This Useful Post:

    69patrick69 (12-01-11), aml (12-01-11), Anna23 (12-01-11), blueboy32 (13-01-11), carlos marvado (12-01-11), ChiefHandker (12-01-11), City Gent (12-01-11), kelly curvybabe (12-01-11), dave1dave (12-01-11), Doozer (12-01-11), El Gordo (12-01-11), Forrest (12-01-11), herodotus (12-01-11), hornylimerick (12-01-11), JohnRambo (12-01-11), kelso (12-01-11), Lucy Chambers (12-01-11), magicalman9357 (12-01-11), Mature Busty Siobhan (12-01-11), nick2010 (12-01-11), Nicole (12-01-11), Patricia (12-01-11), Rayden (12-01-11), releasetherat (12-01-11), Ric Hardgear (12-01-11), samlad (12-01-11), Sensual Delights (12-01-11), takemedrunkimhome (12-01-11), thehighwayman (12-01-11), UKHeather (13-01-11), vampirejackie (12-01-11), westcorklad (12-01-11)

  3. #2
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    Roflmao. I missed you Mousey.
    If life gives you lemons ask for Tequila

    Only sad bastards seek gratification from signatures

  4. #3
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    Well, well, the cat is out of the bag (Benny where are you) Mousey needs catching now!!!!!

    ps.: I'm taking this is for fun.... and you did not intended to step on anybodies toes!!!! uhhhhh maybe bite as you are called Mousy!!!
    Last edited by prettywoman; 12-01-11 at 00:10.

  5. #4
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    Who is teh fekin mole who has been leaken all tihs info
    Last edited by Doozer; 12-01-11 at 00:09.
    Join the E-I Fantasy Football League

    http://www.escort-ireland.com/boards...ntasy-Football

  6. #5
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    Awesome Mousey! 10/10.

  7. #6
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    Oww shit I'm after getting a stitch in my side from laughing.

    For some reason I picture the meeting like something from allo allo .

  8. #7
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    Great to see you back Mousey.

  9. #8
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    That is fu*k*ng hilarious.

    Welcome back Mousey

    Engaging Personality
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    Sexy, Wicked, Enticing, Erotic, Tease

  10. #9
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    Brill, one of the best posts I have read.

  11. #10
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    Will you be publishing more transcripts in the future?
    I have lived a life of regrets.

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