Confined to my sick bed

[Bilbo Baggins]

And that can only mean that Im bored silly. So I started looking silly stuff up on the net. So far I have come up with the following and this is not me making it up, its all there on the net.

If you think BMW cars are good then you are mentally deranged. This information can be confirmed on any motoring website except a BMW one.
If you cock is bent, it is not cute it means you have Peyronie's disease and you are defective and castration is the best way out. Also girls will laugh at you cuz you look silly.
If you have any toes longer than your big toe then you are a Neanderthal degenerate. This fact is confirmed in many men's clothing review sites.