Punt Insurance !!

[Bruno69]

What is Punt Insurance?
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Fellow punters and slaves to sex addiction!
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With an ever worsening economic situation in this country, have you considered what life would be like if you lose your job and have to survive on the dole?
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Could you afford*escorts?** I don't*effing think so!
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Could you just switch off and accept the fact you may never have sex with a stunningly beautiful woman again?*
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Could you read the latest reviews without going mental ?
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(I started this as a joke - but it is a genuinely horrendous thought!)
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Escorts, can you afford to survive without the income of your most regular regulars?
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Enter Punt Insurance !
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Punters, you pay us €100 per week and in the event you can prove you are on the dole, you can make a weekly claim of €100 to visit an escort*of your choice (well, escorts who are approved by Punt Insurance).* You can keep doing this until the value of your claims reaches the value of your deposits (less setup and admin charges of €500).
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How does it work?* You make the appointment, inform your local Punt Insurance operator, erm that would be me for the moment, and we transfer the money on a monthly transfer*basis to the escort.* We do not give any cash direct to the insured punter, as you may well be tempted to spend the money on food, clothing, fuel, medicine, overdue bills, schoolbooks etc.
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Escorts will be licensed as approved members of the scheme by convincing your local Punt Insurance operator, erm that would be me for the moment, that they provide a good value for money service.* Licenses to be renewed monthly.
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Only joking of course.* This is a crazy and morally reprehensible idea.*
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It is, isn't it ???
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[dr love]

A little more tweaking you might be on to something there : doc

[Violette]

Hysterical! But there is something interesting here.

[rimmerguy]

Would you be offering Fully Comprehensive Insurance by any chance . Let's say i have made a booking and informed you of my intensions , but when i get there the escort doesn't answer her phone , or has double booked me . Or maybe on my way there i got caught in traffic and was late , and again the escort was busy . Could you gaurantee me that you would find a suitable replacement escort , same or as near to the original as possible . And would your call centre be staffed by you , or would i have to deal with some one via an Indian call centre !

[nicegirlsarenice]

I think all insurance is a stupid idea.

[Bruno69]

Would you be offering Fully Comprehensive Insurance by any chance . Let's say i have made a booking and informed you of my intensions , but when i get there the escort doesn't answer her phone , or has double booked me . Or maybe on my way there i got caught in traffic and was late , and again the escort was busy . Could you gaurantee me that you would find a suitable replacement escort , same or as near to the original as possible . And would your call centre be staffed by you , or would i have to deal with some one via an Indian call centre !

All reasonable efforts will be made to accommodate you.
I'll be the only person on the call centre initially.
If we can't find you an escort on the day, pop into the office here and I'll give you a quick handjob with my eyes closed.

Can't say fairer than that now, can I ?

[rimmerguy]

You had me after All reasonable efforts ...

But you lost me after the handjob offer

[Bruno69]

You had me after All reasonable efforts ...

But you lost me after the handjob offer

Ok, I may need to hire a salesperson. I say salesperson as opposed to salesman, because the vacancy is not open to men.

As Violette is the only escort to date, expressing any interest, you may have to travel to Belfast for an appointment.

It's early days !

[warmcome]

I think all insurance is a stupid idea.

i spend €5 a day on this 'stupid' product.

[Morpheus]

Losing my job and not being able to afford to see another gorgeous escort again!! That's the stuff of nightmares! I think I might be having a panic attack now! Thanks Bruno for the light thread to ring in the new year!

I wonder if my income protection scheme will cover punting? Riiiiiight!