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Thread: The need to wank..

  1. #1
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    Default The need to wank..

    I can only wank with my right hand. I have on occasion changed to my left, but only to turn the page. I don’t think I could satisfactorily finish with my left hand. I have often wondered if I was caught stealing chocolate bars from a Kasbah market in Yemen and had my right hand amputated would that be the end of my wanking career.
    Last edited by JAMESCORK; 06-11-10 at 00:57.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAMESCORK View Post
    I can only wank with my right hand. I have on occasion changed to my left, but only to turn the page. I don’t think I could satisfactorily finish with my left hand. I have often wondered if I was caught stealing chocolate bars from a Kasbah market in Yemen and had my right hand amputated would that be the end of my wanking career.
    Ffs , a man of your experience cannot change hand mid stride .Even though i have to admit i always thought i had a gift.
    Last edited by An don; 06-11-10 at 01:00.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAMESCORK View Post
    I can only wank with my right hand. I have on occasion changed to my left, but only to turn the page. I don’t think I could satisfactorily finish with my left hand. I have often wondered if I was caught stealing chocolate bars from a Kasbah market in Yemen and had my right hand amputated would that be the end of my wanking career.
    i doubt it ,but trying to clean up after might;doc;
    Never mistake kindness for weakness .: doc

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by An don View Post
    Ffs , a man of your experience cannot change hand mid stride .Even though i have to admit i always thought i had a gift.
    Ah...an ambidextrous wanker is a wanker indeed...I'd say....lol.

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    I'd had a miserable few weeks 2 years ago after I'd had shoulder surgery; my right arm was in this horrible kind of brace and I couldn't use it at all, so I'd had to wank with the left! It was terrible and took forever to finish myself off!

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAMESCORK View Post
    I can only wank with my right hand. I have on occasion changed to my left, but only to turn the page. I don’t think I could satisfactorily finish with my left hand. I have often wondered if I was caught stealing chocolate bars from a Kasbah market in Yemen and had my right hand amputated would that be the end of my wanking career.
    i am sure you would learn to wank with your left hand and do just fine amigo ................

  7. #7
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    Anyone ever the see the Billy Connolly sketch where he describes how he found a method to make it even better?

    According to Billy, you lie on your side, on top of your arm, until your arm turns numb due the lack of blood circulation.

    Now, with absolutely no feeling at all in your arm, you do it.

    This way it feels as if someone else is doing it.

    But really, you would need to hear Billy tell it.
    The Gods are just, and of our pleasant vices
    Make instruments to plague us

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by scotus View Post
    Anyone ever the see the Billy Connolly sketch where he describes how he found a method to make it even better?

    According to Billy, you lie on your side, on top of your arm, until your arm turns numb due the lack of blood circulation.

    Now, with absolutely no feeling at all in your arm, you do it.

    This way it feels as if someone else is doing it.

    But really, you would need to hear Billy tell it.
    This says it all, mate!


  9. #9
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    Good one!

    Of course, Billy being Billy, he takes about 10 minutes to tell the same joke, with lots of sidetracks
    The Gods are just, and of our pleasant vices
    Make instruments to plague us

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by JAMESCORK View Post
    would that be the end of my wanking career.
    Jees, it's a career now???

    Or is that just a Cork thing cause of that famous DJ???
    "It's far easier to fight for principles than to live up to them."
    L

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to luther For This Useful Post:

    JAMESCORK (06-11-10)

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