Chat up lines

[Lucy Chambers]

you could also try:

Get your coat love...

...I've got a knife

In your average nightclub in Leeds the answer would be...

so have I.

[mr maxi]

If I take off my clothes, will you fuck me?

[monster_monster]

In your average nightclub in Leeds the answer would be...

so have I.

was there once and it pretty much had that feeling

[monster_monster]

Are you an archaeologist? 'Cos I've just discovered a bone in my pants, and I was wondering if you could date it.

[monster_monster]

I suppose this is one for Anon

"What's got 147 teeth and holds back The Incredible Hulk?

My zip."

[mr maxi]

Ahoy there fair maiden, might I trouble thee for a fisting?

[mr maxi]

Here's one for Samald

Have you ever played leap frog naked ??

Yes i'm fecking cheating getting these off the web.

[monster_monster]

Here's one for Samald

Have you ever played leap frog naked ??

Yes i'm fecking cheating getting these off the web.

same here Maxi, but who cares

1) Did you fart? Cause you just blew me away!
2) Are your parents retarded? Cause you're special.
3) My love for you is like diarrhoea. I just can't hold it in.

[Iashaf]

Here's one for Samald

Have you ever played leap frog naked ??

Yes i'm fecking cheating getting these off the web.

Me too:

(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
"Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"
Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
Baby, I'm an American Express lover....you shouldn't go home without me!
Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
Can I flirt with you?
Can I please be your slave tonight?
Can I see your tan lines?
Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?
Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)
Congratulations! You have just been voted "Most Beautiful Boy/Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I could see myself in your pants.
Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! D'ya wanna do lunch?
Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.
Do you like short love affairs? I hate them. I've got all weekend.
Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
Do you spit or swallow?
Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.
Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?
Excuse me, but is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
Go up to a girl in a bar, and slip your arm around her, and say, "Hi Laura!" She says, "I'm not Laura!" And you say, as your hand slips a little lower, "But you sure feel like her!"
Ask: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No.) Wink.
God must have been in a very good mood the day we met.
Have you ever played leap frog naked ??
Help the homeless. Take me home with you.
Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.
Hey baby, are you a glover? NO? Well, I am, wanna wear me?
Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!
Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?'
Hi, I need your help! My mom says that if I don't get a date by tomorrow, she's putting me up for adoption.
Hi, I'm new to this country and you are the prettiest sight I've see so far. Can you give me a tour of your body?
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
Hi. Are you legal?
Hi. You'll do.
How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?
How do you like your eggs cooked? Why? Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!
Hand out phone card that says: "Smile if you want to sleep with me."
I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?
I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat?
I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
I wonder what our children will look like.
I would kill or die to make love with you.
I would say that I'm in love with you, but you'd think I'm trying to pull a fast one.
I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
I'd look good on you.
I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
I'm an organ donor, need anything?
I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
I'm leaving this place. Do you want to come?
I've got a condom with your name on it.
I've got a pimple on my butt, wanna see it?
I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie up for the night?
If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?
If I was Elvis, would you screw me?
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?
Is that a tic-tac in your shirt pocket or are you just glad to see me?
Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
Lie down. I think I love you.
Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!
Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?
Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a bottle of champagne.
Sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better?
Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
That's a nice shirt, it would go great with my floor.
That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
Uh, oh. My parents met at a place like this. Let's get the hell out of here.
Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers?
Wasn't I supposed to eat you somewhere?
What do you like for breakfast?
(Do you have a match?) How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?
Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
Will you marry me for just one night?
Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?
Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?
Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
Would you please come home with me and tie me up...
Ya know, my mother would just love you if I brought you to my place tonight and then to her place tomorrow night.
You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
You know, I've always wanted to sleep with you.
You smell wet. Let's Party.
You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?
Your legs look cold. Do you want me to warm them up?

[Westsidex]

Me too:

(Use index finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
"Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"
Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
At the office copy machine "Reproducing eh?" "Can I help?"
Baby, I'm an American Express lover....you shouldn't go home without me!
Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
Can I flirt with you?
Can I please be your slave tonight?
Can I see your tan lines?
Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed together?
Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)
Congratulations! You have just been voted "Most Beautiful Boy/Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!
Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I could see myself in your pants.
Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a blow job? No! D'ya wanna do lunch?
Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? (No.) Do you wanna go upstairs and talk.
Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.
Do you like short love affairs? I hate them. I've got all weekend.
Do you mind if I stare at you up close instead of from across the room?
Do you spit or swallow?
Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.
Ever tried those weird prickly condoms?
Excuse me, but is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?
Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.
Go up to a girl in a bar, and slip your arm around her, and say, "Hi Laura!" She says, "I'm not Laura!" And you say, as your hand slips a little lower, "But you sure feel like her!"
Ask: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No.) Wink.
God must have been in a very good mood the day we met.
Have you ever played leap frog naked ??
Help the homeless. Take me home with you.
Here's a quarter....call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.
Hey baby, are you a glover? NO? Well, I am, wanna wear me?
Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!
Hey! Ya wanna try out my new 'Home Artificial Insemination Kit?'
Hi, I need your help! My mom says that if I don't get a date by tomorrow, she's putting me up for adoption.
Hi, I'm new to this country and you are the prettiest sight I've see so far. Can you give me a tour of your body?
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
Hi. Are you legal?
Hi. You'll do.
How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet clothes?
How do you like your eggs cooked? Why? Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!
Hand out phone card that says: "Smile if you want to sleep with me."
I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?
I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat?
I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
I wanna floss with your pubic hair.
I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
I wonder what our children will look like.
I would kill or die to make love with you.
I would say that I'm in love with you, but you'd think I'm trying to pull a fast one.
I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.
I'd look good on you.
I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast.
I'm an organ donor, need anything?
I'm Irish. Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like some?
I'm leaving this place. Do you want to come?
I've got a condom with your name on it.
I've got a pimple on my butt, wanna see it?
I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie up for the night?
If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?
If I was Elvis, would you screw me?
If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me spend some time up between the holidays?
Is that a tic-tac in your shirt pocket or are you just glad to see me?
Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
Lie down. I think I love you.
Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
Oh no, I'm choking! I need mouth to mouth, quick!
Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?
Picture this, you, me, bubble baths, and a bottle of champagne.
Sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better?
Sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between us.
So, come back to my place, and if you don't like it I swear I'll give you a full refund.
So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?
That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.
That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.
That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.
That's a nice shirt, it would go great with my floor.
That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
There are 265 bones in the human body. How would you like one more?
There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.
Those are nice jeans, do you think I could get in them?
Uh, oh. My parents met at a place like this. Let's get the hell out of here.
Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh.
Want to come into the garden see my big hard cucumbers?
Wasn't I supposed to eat you somewhere?
What do you like for breakfast?
(Do you have a match?) How about the hair on my head and the hair between your legs?
Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?
Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?
Will you marry me for just one night?
Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?
Would you like to come to a party in my toolshed?
Would you like to have morning coffee with me?
Would you please come home with me and tie me up...
Ya know, my mother would just love you if I brought you to my place tonight and then to her place tomorrow night.
You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.
You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.
You know, I've always wanted to sleep with you.
You smell wet. Let's Party.
You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?
Your legs look cold. Do you want me to warm them up?

Jesus she was hard to get.
Westside.

PS what was her answer?