The Perfect Woman

[Forrest]

Things the perfect woman would say:

I'll swallow it all...I love the taste

Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy.

Oh come on, what do ya say we get a good porno movie, a case of beer, a few joints, and have my friend Tammy over for a threesome.

God...if I don't blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust!!

I know it's a lot tighter back there, but would you please try again?

You're so sexy when you're hungover.

I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

Let's subscribe to Hustler.

Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?

Let's go down to the mall so you can check out women's asses.

I'll be out painting the house.

[Doozer]

Things the perfect woman would say:

I'll swallow it all...I love the taste

Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy.

Oh come on, what do ya say we get a good porno movie, a case of beer, a few joints, and have my friend Tammy over for a threesome.

God...if I don't blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust!!

I know it's a lot tighter back there, but would you please try again?

You're so sexy when you're hungover.

I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

Let's subscribe to Hustler.

Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?

Let's go down to the mall so you can check out women's asses.

I'll be out painting the house.

Barring 1 or 2 of those on the list I believe I have the Holy Grail of women

[monster_monster]

Things the perfect woman would say:

I'll swallow it all...I love the taste

Are you sure you've had enough to drink?

I'm bored. Let's shave my pussy.

Oh come on, what do ya say we get a good porno movie, a case of beer, a few joints, and have my friend Tammy over for a threesome.

God...if I don't blow you soon, I swear I'm gonna bust!!

I know it's a lot tighter back there, but would you please try again?

You're so sexy when you're hungover.

I'd rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

Let's subscribe to Hustler.

Would you like to watch me go down on my girlfriend?

Let's go down to the mall so you can check out women's asses.

I'll be out painting the house.

What's the difference between Love, True Love and showing off?

Spit, swallow and gargle.

[Forrest]

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met.

After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.

One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress.

Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along
delivering toys.

Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.

Who was the survivor?



.

.

.

.




Answer: The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.

Women stop reading here. That is the end of the joke.

Men keep scrolling...




















So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. And that explains why there was a car accident. By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, this illustrates another point: Women never listen, either.

[Lucy Chambers]

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met.

After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.

One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress.

Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along
delivering toys.

Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.

Who was the survivor?



.

.

.

.




Answer: The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.

Women stop reading here. That is the end of the joke.

Men keep scrolling...




















So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. And that explains why there was a car accident. By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, this illustrates another point: Women never listen, either.

Grrrr. I hope that Santa hears you.

[Forrest]

Grrrr. I hope that Santa hears you.

Ah Lucy, don't be like that.
There are exceptions to everything, and you are one of them.
Layla, Abby & Jasmin are the others.