Golf Shots

[Forrest]

How to describe your golf shot:-

An Adolf Hitler - taking two shots in a bunker
An Arthur Scargill - great strike but a poor result
A Rodney King - over-clubbed
An O.J. Simpson- somehow got away with it
A Condom - safe but didn't feel very good
An elephant's arsehole - it's high; and it stinks
A sister-in-law - I'm up there, but I know I shouldn't be
A Sally Gunnell - it's ugly but it's still running
A Kate Moss - thinned it
An IRA shot - hitting a provisional
A nipple licker - a shot that opens up the hole
A Diego Maradonna - nasty five footer
A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read
A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't
A Ladyboy - Looks like an easy hole but all may not be what it seems
Putting like a gynecologist's assistant - shaving the hole
A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole
A Cuban - needs one more revolution
An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim
A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water
A Marilyn Monroe - a fair crack up the middle (aka "A Blondie")
A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver
A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver
A Robin Cook - just died on the hill
A Michael Jackson - gradually fading
An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result
A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it
A Tony Blair - too much spin
A Bin Laden - driven out, never to be found again
Jamie Oliver - you really want to smack it but you can't

[An don]

A sonia o sullivan- not the greatest looking but runs for miles

[monster_monster]

A Peter Andre - went in a really horrible bit of rough.

A Heather Mills - didn't have the legs

[Forrest]

[Forrest]

[monster_monster]

[luther]

[Forrest]

[westcorklad]

[Forrest]

A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage,
when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"

"Yeah."

"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."

The husband and wife then make passionate love.

When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "Now what are you doing?" she asks.

The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it again."

The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more time.

When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"

"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out what the par is for this damn hole."