I find that 90% of the probs ppl face are of their own doing and 10% are beyond their control but its that 10% and learning to deal with them is what makes or breaks someone. We all have our 90% and 10% but some ppl dont recognize which category a particular problem lies.
Westside.
Last edited by Westsidex; 04-10-10 at 14:22.
Sometimes I hate that kinda stuff as it seems like escapism into another person's situation. My stuff is my stuff and I'll deal with it my way. I'm not gonna pretend to feel better just cos some guy with one arm can lift weights. I greatly admire him and his courage and am pleased that he has found a way, maybe even he inspires me into thinking that there is a way round every situation; but I'm not buying into the "you should be ashamed of yourself feeling that way - look at this guy!"Originally Posted by Westsidex
In life shit happens; some get more than their fair share. We can choose to be the victim, let the perpetrator win (if there is one), and let that define our lives and who we are, or we can choose to get on top of our shit and use the experience to make us stronger (easier said than done). I'm probably not making sense here, but makes sense to me
Lucy Chambers (04-10-10)
Sometimes I hate that kinda stuff as it seems like escapism into another person's situation. My stuff is my stuff and I'll deal with it my way. I'm not gonna pretend to feel better just cos some guy with one arm can lift weights. I greatly admire him and his courage and am pleased that he has found a way, maybe even he inspires me into thinking that there is a way round every situation; but I'm not buying into the "you should be ashamed of yourself feeling that way - look at this guy!"
In life shit happens; some get more than their fair share. We can choose to be the victim, let the perpetrator win (if there is one), and let that define our lives and who we are, or we can choose to get on top of our shit and use the experience to make us stronger (easier said than done). I'm probably not making sense here, but makes sense to me
This is what happened to him and this is what he wanted to do and he found a way to do it and not let anything get in the way of finding that.
Likewise another person has something happen them and they want a particular outcome so they should find a way or do the best that they can to find the best way for them. Just like this guy did.
I just picked this eg but i could find an example of anything youll find. The business guy that went bankrupt and started again and made it again. The athlete that docs told that they will never be able to do X , Y and Z and they found a way and did. The person who is ill and told by the so called experts of the outcome and defies that outcome.
So nobody is saying that anyone should be ashamed because this guy has this and does that. Its the attitude of what he does is what is applicable to all. I only picked this vid because i do this ,if i swam i probably a swimming vid.
Westside.
Paddii (04-10-10)
Granted. These things are good when used properly like in the way u just said. I was just spouting off about the times people are shown these kind of things in order to minimise what they are going through. That's unhelpful and wrong and counterproductive
I get that but the mental outlook is the same. The prob with feeling more down than a person should is mentally the problem grows to a point where you have whats called "learned helplessness". This is where ,if you dont stop, you will really screw yourself up because it becomes a case of why bother trying so as things wont get better. This is the prob and its what causes alot of probs for ppl. The issue grows and grows and then its out of proportion and in the persons own mind out of reach too.
Everyone gets things that put them down, everyone gets days where they dont feel great but the diff between those that seem to get over an issue and those that dont is those that do dont stay down for long. They catch themselves thinking wrong and correct it before it becomes habitual.
Im not saying changing your thinking will solve a problem as it may take time, patience and action that is outside of a person comfort zone but that the recession. Who do you think will come out better? The person that says its going to get worse or its going to be here for 12 years or the guy that says i will cross one step at a time and it will be ok at the end of the day.
Westside.
Last edited by Westsidex; 04-10-10 at 15:52.
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Quite. Unhappiness is unique to the individual, as is the cure.
If life gives you lemons ask for Tequila
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Maybe so but what causes the cure to get in motion? A change of attitude.
Westside.
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Really? And when you are unhappy because of death, loss and grief? What change in attitude will help that? Many things in life are self inflicted. Others - are not.
Last edited by lucy chambers; 04-10-10 at 15:58.
If life gives you lemons ask for Tequila
Only sad bastards seek gratification from signatures
Yes, it will help it, wont prevent it but will help it. The attitude of acceptance and understanding that being upset is you showing how much the deceased person meant to you. The feeling of loss will never go away but does a person want it to go away? Does a person want to reach a day when they dont remember someone special? Unlikely. Im not saying its easy but a persons attitude does help or worsen it.
Westside.
Can't remember who said, "a journey of 1000 miles begins with the first step". All of us will need help along the way, anyone who thinks they can do it alone is deluding themselves. Some of us will get so low, we can't get back by ourselves, and there is no quick fix; maybe not even the capacity to change their attitude or thinking - that's not so easy and u might think for some. The worst thing to happen to a person is to lose hope - that so called learned helplessness. It is such a lie, cos there is always hope, there are always choices, often none of them easy.
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