I was low and lonely
And I couldn’t sleep a wink
I could only get unconscious
If I had too much to drink
There was somehow something wrong
And each day seemed grey and dead
The seeds of desperation
Were growing in my head
I needed inspiration
A brand new start in life
Somewhere to place affection
But I didn’t want a wife
Then by lucky chance I saw
In a special magazine
An ad that was unusual
The like I had never seen
Experience something different
With our new imported toy
She’s loving, warm, inflatable
And a guarantee of joy
She came all wrapped in cardboard,
All pink and frizzled down
A breath of air was all she needed
To make her lose that frown
So I took her to the bedroom
And pumped her with some life
And later, in a moment
that doll became my ‘wife’
I sit her in the corner
And sometimes stroke her hair
But when I’m feeling naughty
I blow her up with air
She’s cuddly and she’s bouncy
She’s like a rubber ball
I bounce her in the kitchen
I bounce her in the hall
She’s everything they said she was
And I wear a permanent grin
I only have to worry
In case my girl wears thin
The joy of the inflatable doll..........but now we have Escort Ireland