Hey Saps! Good news for yous today! Myself and Irish Mature Siobhan have got together and have decided to help yous grow some BALLS!
We are starting a GROW SOME BALLS! training course for you sad saps, the course will be a one day effort, and will cost yous 500e each!

When yous arrive the first thing is yous will have to drink a pint of my special ball growing liquid- made from bulldog testicles and hair restorer tonic, after that Siobhan will take yous into the ball growing room, tie a rope around your testicles, and hoist yous up 10 feet off the ground, yous will be hanging by your testicles there for 6 hours.
Now loads of yous saps will want this course, so join up quickly!

PS- Siobhan told me to tell yous she does not want dirty arses! so use the Brillo pads before yous arrive!