HOW TO SURVIVE A Garda vice squad raid

[Dick Spunk]

One fear that crosses most punters mind at one time or another, is the fear that while he is "doing business" with an escort, the apartment door will suddenly be bursted open to reveal 4 or 5 members of the Garda vice squad- all asking the red faced (not to mention red penis headed) punter his name and address, as he panically trys to find his Y fronts under the bed.
Lets be honest here, its a fearfull thought that has come to our mind at some time in our punting past, indeed I would bet that some punters live in a state of constant fear of it - the imagined arrest, the court appearence, telling his wife/GF, his name in the paper etc etc , . . . .
So, how should the punter deal with this all to easy to imagine nightmare scenario ?
Lets carry out an exercise of the situation, and discuss ways of dealing with it.

You decide to visit an escort, for a bit of pervy fun behind your wifes back (you dirty fucker), lets say there is a mature English escort in town, somebody you read really good reviews of in the past, lets call her Kinky Kate (see photo below), aged 42, big, soft and willing to let a big handsome sexy hunk like you do anything you want to her (for 300e an hour that is). You arrive at her apartment, she opens the door wearing a mini skirt so short that it barely covers her arsehole, your prick jumps in your Y fronts at this wonderfull sight.
****txt Removed*****, "no problem love", says the wobbling Kate.
Anyway 5 minutes and 300e later, you are on top of her on the bed, thrusting your cock again and again into her groin, as you shout "you fuckin bitch- you bitch!" (all part of your roleplay with her). In a few short minutes you feel ready to explode a wad of baby batter over her groin, over a weeks supply of jizz, and as you prepare for the wonderfull explosion-Then, it happens The door is sledgehammered down as 4 guys enter the room, Kinky Kate, with a speed that superseeds her age and bulk, is up off the bed, and running into the bathroom, as you get up off the bed, with your hugely erect prick dangling in front of the 4 cops - ( The worse moment of your ENTIRE life, Dont you just wish the fucking ground would open up and swallow you up?).

However fear not, fellow punters, your uncle Dick has tips to help you out of this tight spot -

Option 1- Tell them you are testing out a new sexual lubricant,
and that Kate is your co worker.

Option 2- Tell them you are helping Kate to lose weight, and
that the reason for the physical activity.

Option 3-Tell them you are a scientist, carrying out a important
experiment of some sort.

Option 4- Tell them you are testing out a new type of condom-
the new lightweight almost invisible condom.

So there you have it, good intelligent answers to save your neck, so have no fear- we have nothing to fear, but fear itself!