Attention Punters, due to massive demand I have decided to open a problem page for you all, where hopefully I will use my humble experience to offer helpfull and constructive advice to fix your intimate and personnel problems, and we already have our first problem . . . . .
Dear Dick, My name is Paul, my problem concerns my wife, she wears mini
skirts all the time, mini skirts which I think are way too short, I include a
picture of her going out wearing one of her skirts, she is also refusing to
have sex with me, as she says she is too tired, I am also finding loads of used
condoms in our bedroom at home, which she says she knows nothing about,
and my neighbours tell me that lots of men visit my house every day, and my
wife lets them in, I have asked her about this, she says that they must be all
council workmen, trouble is, there is no work to be done in the house.
What should I do ? Dick, Help ! Paul.
Well, Paul, I think I know whats happening here, you see your wife is a escort while you are out at work, the so called workmen are actually punters, they give your wife money to shag her, usually in any position you can imagine, in fact she even has 15 punter reviews on this website, I myself have even visited her last week, where I spent 2 hours spunking and pissing onto her in your bedroom.
My advice to you- change that fucking wallpaper, its total crap.
Dick.
A man s mission in life is to spread his seed with as many women as possible, for as long as possible, in any position possible . . . .
Thanks lads, loads and loads of problems flowing in, which I hope to solve in a constructive and sensitive manner, todays problem comes from Tony . . . .
Dear Dick, I have a problem which I hope you can help me sort out, it
involves my girlfriend Tracy, you see she has taken to going off meeting her
ex boyfriend every day while I am in work, the guy she knew before me, she
meets him for coffee and cream cakes, or at least thats whats she tells me, the
problem is she always wears a short skirt, and no Knickers, when she goes to
meet him, I have a photo of her here, just before she has coffee and cream
cakes with him.
I have asked her to bring me home a cream cake, but she always says they
ate them all, now do you think I am been unreasonable, with her wearing
no knickers when she meets her ex? And for not bringing me home a cream
cake ? Thanks in advance, Tony.
Tony, The only cream she is having with him is his Cock Cream, his baby batter, his fun juice- get my drift ? And she is having it with him in her cunt hole- hence the absence of knickers to give him easy access.
Now, ask yourself, do still want a cream cake from them ?
The other issue, her not wearing knickers, simple to solve that, Dunnes Stores have a sale on at the moment, 10 pairs of womans knickers for 5e, you can buy some and give them to Tracy to wear. They look and feel great, I wear them all the time myself, hope that helps you- Dick.
A man s mission in life is to spread his seed with as many women as possible, for as long as possible, in any position possible . . . .
Hundreds of letters coming in, todays problem comes from Joey . . . . .
Dear Dick, I am in a big mess and need your help!, It all began 2 years ago,
when I met Tina, who became my girlfriend, up to then I visited escorts all the
time, but when I met her, I decided to stop with escorts. Me and Tina got
engaged, but we decided not to have sex until our wedding night. We got
married last week, I had no sex for those 2 years and was looking forward
to our wedding night, but I got a massive shock in bed with Tina, she had a
bigger erection than I had !
Yes Tina turned out to be a bloke, a transvestite, his real name is Billy,
I include a photo of him below, and now the fucker says we are legally
married and wants sex every night, which I give him, to top it off he is a
Chelsea supporter, can you believe that, fucking Chelsea. How do I get
out of this mess, Joey..
Joey, have you ever heard of testing the goods before you buy them ? Thats where you went wrong, 2 years without sex? My parish priest got more sex than you in that time, and he is 88.
Never marry a women until you have had sex with her at least 20 times, I suggest you just live with it, get a copy of sex between men in Easons.
And he/she is a fucking Chelsea supporter ? Life really is a bitch- for you.
Everybody knows Man utd are the best.
A man s mission in life is to spread his seed with as many women as possible, for as long as possible, in any position possible . . . .
Todays problem comes from Mick from tallaght . .. . . . .
Dear Dick, my problem concerns my girlfriends tits, you see I always had a
thing about female tits, and I once asked my girlfriend Debbie to get breast
enhancement on her tits, she was delighted, and I paid 2000e to get get the job
done, we were so happy with the result that, I paid another 2000e to get
them done bigger again, we did this 3 more times, I paid a total 10000e, and as
you see in the picture below, Debbie looked great.
The problem began on the night we were to have sex for the first time
with her new tits, after a few seconds I could not resist bitting one of her tits,
when there was an almighty explosion, the tits blew up in my face, the bed was
thrown out the window, the roof lifted off, there was debris littered all over
the street, one of Debbies tits was found over 500 yards from our house, in
fact a mushroom cloud appeared over the house.
Now Debbie refuses to get another tit job done, but I want tit sex, what can
I do ? yours truly, Mick
Mick, there were tears in my eyes after reading about your problem, buts lets face it, what ever was in those tits, it was not silicon, in this case the only solution is to get a new girlfriend, as Debbie is totally unreasonable.
Tit sex in the morning is great, I do it with my girlfriend most mornings, the other mornings I do it with my wife, hope that helps, - Dick.
A man s mission in life is to spread his seed with as many women as possible, for as long as possible, in any position possible . . . .
Dear Dick . . . . . .
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