Anyone feel like this?

[Westsidex]

Lately i have being thinking quite a bit about the way i am with other ppl. Now i dont consider myself a gent and i dont consider myself any better or worse than anyone else but i am very helpful and have always being there for anyone who needed it. All they had to do was phone, mail or whatever and i am there. Now im not a crawler or a soft arse but i am a big big help if someone had probs of any kind.

Heres what im thinking. Anytime the shoe has being on the other foot, i dont have those same luxuries. Anytime, i have ever being stuck or going through a hard time ,i never had anyone who has being there. Now anyone who knows me would tell you that "he doesnt need help" etc but just because i dont cry or just because i dont let things get me down doesnt mean it would be nice not to have someone wonder is everything ok with him.

Whats brought this up are two things,

(1) i have someone ,a former escort who will and always will be nameless here ,odd with me over what i do not know. Have know idea,yet this girl was through some pretty tough times lately and again i was always there if she texted or whatever despite the fact that i barely know her and have never met face to face.

(2) A thai girl i knew.A girl that i have helped out very well and being very good to, yapping to ppl spreading lies about me behind my back. Her friend is the same but she is only like that because i didnt respond to her advances.But this other brat, i never did anything for her, for a wife, a gf, a blow job ,a freebie etc.Yet she says lies about me to ppl that dont even fuckin know me.This bitch says lies about me not paying for her or something , i remember the day well, the same day i dropped her up to Argos to buy a heater cause her own one was broken.

Now dont get me wrong,at the end of the day ,i dont give two fucks but i really have evaluated big time, helping ppl out like this again.

Alot of women asked me and find it hard to believe that im single and they wonder why. Now they know. Its because very few ppl have looked behind the image and the exterior to notice that there is actually a human being in there the same as everyone else.

I couldnt be bothered my hole helping ppl out anymore. While i understand you help ppl out of the goodness of your heart with no expectation of thanks its fuck all good to anyone if nothing comes out of it and im not talking about some bullshit like sex, im talking about basic appreciation at least.

Im not saying treat ppl like shit but i am saying to step well back and let them feel the water themselves.

deep but would go way deeper,
Westside.