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Thread: World Cup Widows

  1. #1
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    Default World Cup Widows

    Dear Wife/ Sweetheart/Girl Friend/ Partner/whomever it may concern,

    1.
    Between 11 June and 11 July 2010, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of
    what is going on regarding the World of Soccer, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail
    to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not
    receiving any atttention.
    2.
    During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the
    remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
    3.
    If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and
    without distracting me.
    4.
    During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out
    of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell
    on the floor....It won't happen.
    5.
    It would be a goood idea for you to keep at least 2 six packss in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to
    niibble on (excluding your body parts), and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over
    too watch the games. In return,, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good
    game that I missed during the day.
    6.
    Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, it's only a
    game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time"". If you say thhese things, you will only make me angrier aand I will love
    you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of
    encouragement"" will only lead to a break up or divorce.
    7.
    You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the
    commercials are on, and only if the half time score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am sayinng "one" game ;
    hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".
    8.
    The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see
    them again, Many times.
    9.
    Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my
    attendance because:
    a)) I will not go,
    b)) I will not go, and
    c)) I will not go.


    10.
    But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
    11.
    The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as importannt as the games themselves. Do not even
    think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all
    watch?" because, the reply will be, "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
    12.
    And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to
    these words, because before and after this comes the Champions League, Premier League, Italian League, Spanish
    League, KPL, FA Cup, Euro Cup, etc.
    P//S

    By the way if you get stuck on the road call the Police or AAA.

    Thank you for your cooperation.

    Engaging Personality
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  3. #2
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    Default

    Funny.....
    Though we are not now that strength which in old days moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are; one equal temper of heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate, but strong in will to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

  4. #3
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    Default

    If future World Cups are going to be as poor as this one there won't be any World Cup widows.

  5. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by thehighwayman View Post
    If future World Cups are going to be as poor as this one there won't be any World Cup widows.
    Was really looking forward to this world cup but we are nearly a week in and i only count the german game as the only decent game so far.
    I have lived a life of regrets.

  6. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by aml View Post
    Was really looking forward to this world cup but we are nearly a week in and i only count the german game as the only decent game so far.
    Agreed - can't believe Spain lost this afternoon and Brasil looked weak and Argentina can't score....
    Though we are not now that strength which in old days moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are; one equal temper of heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate, but strong in will to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

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