My dog's got me out of a sticky situation recently.
I'd successfully got a girl I was chatting up to come back to mine for a "coffee" after the pub!!
I popped open a bottle of wine and we chatted for a while and then it happened .......
... cramps ... Oouch! ... fart cramps ... They were so bad I was afraid to get up cause one little move and BANG! ... seconds felt like minutes ... I couldn't concentrate on what she was saying ... clenching my ass cheeks as hard as I could ... but I couldn't keep holding it in ... low and behold it eventually made its way out ... A nasty silent but violent fart!
I was fucking horrified ... but thinking quickly I got up and gave out to the dogs blaming them on it ... "BOLD DOGS!!!"
Man's best friend ... indeed!
Also useful for cleaning up spills and fetching the TV remote