Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls.

My night has been an interesting one.

I was lazily at home in my Limerick pad when i felt a hankering for a pint. I ventured out and imbibed a few pints so that was that solved.

However I was also chatted up by an extremely drunk lady with - wait for it - 34GG breasts !!!!- said breasts while charming in their own right were not attached to a lady who could interest me sexually as she was bit too wild and drunk and - sorry to be so shallow but - not particularly pleasing on the eye apart from said fun bags.

Whilst a tad horny I slunk off home with a semi horn but confident that I had made the correct decision in repelling her advances.

On my way back to my scratcher I passed what was previously Players LapDancing emporium. To my consternation this is now a LGBTQ club (lesbian gay bisexual transgender curious to the uninitiated). This now means that Limerick City has no lap dancing clubs whatsoever but two 'Gay ' Bars - Riddlers being the other.

This is a good thing I say in my deep Liberal voice - BUT - no lapdancing clubs surely means that things have gone too far for those of us within the Hetero community. Are we now- in Limerick City at least - the newest sexual outcasts ?

Yours ( a slightly sad and slightly horny)

Alexander Zappa Saturn Horan III.

xx