Omegle
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: howeya
Stranger: hey ooft im naked
You: i'm constipated
Stranger: so is ur mam
You: she was before but had a shit yersterday
Stranger: i no i smelt it in my mouth
You: really , did you rim my ma
Stranger: yer
You: oh so your the cunt havin an affair with my 71yr old ma
You: i so want to have a shit it's not the best of feelings
Stranger: awww
Stranger: ill help
You: can feel my bowels full to the brim
Stranger: ill giv u a massage relax ur whole body
Stranger: includin ur bowels
You: ooh nice one
You: tell me this , do you use esacorts for kinky sex like i do
Stranger: hopefully one thing wont be relaxed
You: one thing ?
Stranger: yer i do
You: when did you last have a punt , wanna have one tomorrow
You: hopefully i'll have had a big shit before
Stranger: oki doki
You: did you know there is black toilet paper that you can buy off the internet
Stranger: omfg
You: yeah i know it's crazy innit
Stranger: innit bruv
You: i'm not your bruv
Stranger: yer u are
Stranger: nd i still do OUR mum
You: no your my half bruv , i'm adopted , you have sex with your mammy
Stranger: ok 
Stranger: i pissed in ur mouth last night
You: well my mouth did taste rather odd this morning , thought it was the gone off milk i used for my breakfast
Stranger: i want to eat ur dick
You: maybe later on in life when i have finished fucking and want to be dickless you can eat it
You: have you eaten many dicks in your short useless life
You: ?
Stranger: i lost count
Stranger: deffo more thn 3 nd a half
You: anything past 1 must be hard for a simpleton like you to count
Stranger: yer
You: what time does daddy want you to blow him at
Stranger: i only hav 3 nd a half fingers to count on
Stranger: hes dead thanks a fuckin lot
You: your thumbs dont count as fingers so you only have 1 and a half fingers
You: how did your da die
Stranger: cancer
Stranger: of the bowel
You: thats cause he took many a dirty mickey up his shitter
Stranger: so wat if he was gay
You: it's a free world , but you should get some counselling all the same
Stranger: i hav had counciling
You: no that wasn't counselling , that was confession to a priest
You: even the priest thinks you should hand yourself in to the authorities
Stranger: iv had counciling frm izyy
You: no you haven't , you are a very accomplished liar
Stranger: izyy is sitin with me
Stranger: shes 14
You: ah so you are a paedo as well ?
You: how did izzy council you
Stranger: she let me get out all my feeling and boobs
You: you disgust me to my core
You: only on the internet could i find someone as pathetic as you to fill a few minutes out of my day
Stranger: thank you
Stranger: ur mum filled sumthing last night
You: i'm adopted remember you idiot , it's your mum not mine
Stranger: ok
Stranger: ur adopted cos i didnt want u
You: why didnt you want me ???
Stranger: u were an ugly baby
You: so was the ugly duckling , but he grew up to be a beautiful swan
Stranger: ur a swan
Stranger: there the only birds with penises
You: exactly , now we are finally getting nowhere fast
You: is that your phone i gear ringing ?
You: hear
Stranger: no its ur mam i meen my mam
You: does your mam sound like a phone ringing ?
You: is it dinner time is that why she is there
Stranger: when u hit the right note
You: what note is that
Stranger: e
You: major or minor
Stranger: major
You: i'm tone deaf so watcha gonna do
You: i'm also colour blind
Stranger: spank her hARder
You: only if she wants it and asks politely for it
Stranger: ok mr killjoy
You: how the fuck did you know my name
Stranger: gregorry
You: jesus h christ i'm getting totally freaked out , can you see me as well ?
You: do you wanna know something ?
Stranger: yer
Stranger: u hav a 12 inch penis
You: it's bigger than mine fair play to you
Stranger: lol
You: i'd be laughin too if i had a 12incher ! do you use a pump to get extra size
Stranger: no
Stranger: i use a magazine
Stranger: sum tyms my dads old videos he left me in his will
You: aw shucks you should come into the real world sonny , no one whacks off to magazines any more , use the internet for all your porno requirements
Stranger: im a girl
Stranger: im 14
Stranger: my name is jessica mary reed
Stranger: im in the uk
You: then you should be using diddos or vibrators
Stranger: my mums drunk
Stranger: nd my gf izyy is sittin on ma lap
You: naughty little underage sluts the pair of ya
Stranger: thanx
You: watcha wearing
Stranger: leopard print undies and a white pink nd black bra
Stranger: nd izyys wearin zebra print bra nd thhong
You: but earlier you said you were naked , so wats up with that lie ?
Stranger: i put clothes on
You: i've had enough of talking to you , put izzy on please
Stranger: fuk u sideways
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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