Bonus Xmas Dear Patricia comp

[UK Mandy]

UK Mandy
Board of Trade
Whitehall




Dear Patricia,

I hope you are keeping well this festive season.

I am writing to you this Christmas with a little request which I am sure is within your ample capabilities to grant. I do not ask this favour for my benefit alone, but rather on behalf of all the good people who make up HM's Britannic realm.

As you are aware, we are having a spot of difficulty in the opinion polls and barring some miracle, the Tories will be occupying our seats in six months time. I believe the opportunity to provide such a miracle lies in your hands, or to put it more bluntly, between your legs. Dear Gordon, God bless him, is no longer up to the job and can no longer claim to represent the diversity of British society. Somebody different, fresh and unique is required to lead this country out of recession and to reclaim Britain's historic position at the forefront of civilisation, to reinstate us to our natural place in the sun. We have given so much to humanity in the past. When we elected Margaret Thatcher as PM, we were the first major industrialised country with a female head of government. Even the damned Bosch saw fit to copy us and elect Angela Merkel, but now they have gone one better and appointed a gay man as deputy prime minister. Even our colonial cousins across the water have seen fit to elect their first black president to show what a jolly liberal bunch they have now become.

I am not amused by all this foreign one-upmanship and neither is the other Queen in Buckingham Palace either. If Gordon could be somehow moved aside rapidly, then yours truly would be a shoe in as Labour Leader and PM and with me in charge at No. 10, the Tories would be rightly buggered come the general election. I may not be a black man or a woman, but I'm the next best thing, and some kind souls would claim that as a gay man, I'm even better. As the first opening gay head of government of a major nation, I would automatically command respect, both at home and abroad, as nobody would dare turn their backs on me.

Now to the little favour or service that you can do for me and the people of the United Kingdom, nay for all humanity even. I will be throwing a little soiree for my cabinet colleagues to celebrate the Christmas parliamentary recess. All the cabinet will be there, including some, who I believe are old friends of your's already. Gordon being a Scot, is quite fond of a wee dram or two, and I have instructed one of my young fancies, to slip him a few mickey finns during the course of the evening. I believe the lad in question used to advertise with your err "advertising agency". Once Gordon has been safely tucked-in upstairs to sleep it off, your job will be to make your way to his bedroom and to "share his bed with him". I would not actually be asking you to do anything with him; God forbid, but you would need an exceedingly strong stomach for that. Just be naked on the bed with him when the photographers arrive. Unlike the Italians, who will accept Berlusconi bedding any number of professional ladies, the good people of middle England would be outraged and Gordon's position would become untenable.

If you yourself are unable to attend this soiree, I would be most grateful if you could provide one of the good people who advertise with your organisation, so that the paparazzi can get what they want. I will leave it in your capable hands and to your judgement.

You know Patricia, as a child, I always wrote my Christmas letters to Santa Claus, but I invariably never got exactly what I had requested....what it said on the box or tin was not necessarily what one got when it was opened. But I have complete trust and faith in you Patricia to deliver the service that you promise.

Please Patricia, make it so I become Prime Minister of her Majesty's Government this Christmas.


Yours in anticipation
United Kingdom Mandy



P.S. Should a lady be unavailable, a transsexual or gay man will be equally acceptable.

[luther]

Can't we all just get along???............Pretty please???.............

Oh and world peace and an end to starvation would also be great..............




A note from Luther this Christmas...........

It's been a tough year for everybody this year, and I only hope and pray that next year will be better, for everybody, but please, spare a thought this festive season for the people whom are even less well off that us lot. Times are tough, but we still have a lot to be thankfull for. Just a thought........

[Alec Horan]

Dear Patricia,

All I want for Christmas is a Dukla Prague Away Kit.

YouTube - All I Want for Christmas is a Dukla Prague Away Kit

[sexyfukka]

I JUST BELIEVE THAT OTHER PEOPLE DESERVE SOME XMAS PRESSIES AND THEY DESERVE A MENTION

im just gonna jot down what comes into my head at this late stage ....well...here goes....
WEStIDEX---a new tellytubby avatar and and a new hairbrush for the maintenance of his dogs

EX.PEE---a girl that loves him unconditionally quirks n all

CARLOS---brotherly love to carlos marvado,but with a username like that his gift---irish passport.

Q.P.H.---a stall where he can sell shit like he did to an american who passed his ranch one day awhile back,also apples for his horses and cash voucher to him so he can donate it to i.s.p.c.a so they can look after the animals that havent always been treated right since the downturn in the economy.

LUTHER---a delorean time machine car named-ghosts of religion future so you can see the shit you caused when you nailed your 95 rebel theses to that door and created a schism in the catholic church,also a signed copy of protestant annual yearbook 2010 orange coloured hardback signed by reverend ian paisley

ROVER--- a hammer to to bang the spot where there is a squeek in the hallway leading to yourr bedroom,you bang a few times to accentuate the squeekiness so when èr indoors is coming into the room you can convieniently minimise the ei website to gardening for enthusiasts website in plenty of time avoiding awkward moments.

DOOZER---a fraggle rock toy and dvd---you were named after a character in the show.

that is all the people that i can think of at this moment.i will think of A few more and add them later