Originally Posted by
Lovinit
Just thought I should share this information with the escorting community, because I like sharing!
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I have not cum since Saturday!
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And now, I am hornier than a two-horned rhinoceros on viagra!
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In fact, its been a couple*of weeks since I had sex so*I think I might technically be a virgin!*
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I havent even had a chance to have a wank since last Saturday morning.* I need time alone in bed for this and I haven't really had it.* I never liked doing it in the shower or sitting on the loo.* What can I say, I am an incurable*romantic!* No it has to be on my back on a comfortable bed thinking of having sex with someone I had a great chance of having sex with but never did!
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I'll have to release the safety valves*in the next couple of days or there will be a spontaneous ejaculation, resulting in cars and small poorly built homes being washed down the street.* Some poor unfortunate people will be preserved for centuries, pompeii-like, in congealed sperm.*
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My balls are now starting to make a funny gurgling noise like a boiling*kettle.**I've put on about 5Kgs in the last few days, but I've a feeling I'm going to lose that weight almost instantly.
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On the news, they will be saying that earthquake scientists are picking up readings on their seismometers that indicate a potential earthquake or volcano in the Dublin area.* I need to call them and tell them not to panic it is just my balls!* Then the army will take me away to some underground, nuclear bomb-proof shelter, where they will have a nice bed prepared and some lads magazines*and will leave me alone for two minutes.*Failing that,*I might seek the company*of a young lady*to help alleviate a bigger*catastrophe.*I could be a one-man bukkake party!
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So if you hear a dull explosion in the distance this weekend, coupled with*feeling a*slight earth tremor, rest easy.* As long as you are not within*a 1 kilometer radius of the epicentre (the top of my knob), you should be ok.
Two bags full
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