jokes
a man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a xmas fancy dress party. he doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg. so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. a few days later he recevies a parcel with a note:dear sir.please find enclosed a pirate's outfit.the spotted handkershief will cover your bauld head with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate. the man is offended that the outfit emphasizes his disabillity.so he writes a letter of complaint.a week passes and he receives another parcel and note:dear sir.sorry about the previous parcel.find enclosed a monks's habit.the long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bauld head you will really look the part. the man is really incandescent with rage now.becuase the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bauld head.so he writes a really strong letter of complaint with the accompanying letter.dear sir.please find enclosed a tin of golden syrup.we suggest you pour the tin of golden syrup over your bald.head stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by Elle of Edinburgh
Joe & John are twin brothers who live in the same town.Joe owns a dilapidated old boat which sank the same day John's wife died. A few weeks later a kindly old woman saw Joe and mistook him for john. I'm sorry about your loss she said. Thank you replies Joe but i'm sorta glad to be rid of her, she was a rotton ol thing anyway, her bottom was all shrivelled an she smelt of dead fish, she had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big one in the front as well. She was bulging out everywhere in her old age. Every time i used her she leaked and dribbled and her oul hole got bigger. I think what finally finished her off was wheni rented her out to 4 lads looking for a good time. The fools tried to get into her all at once and she split right up the middle!!!!!
