Is "Competition" the key to Men's happiness?
I had a client tonight from Switzerland who was a Leo (god help me) and had some interesting things to talk about. He started telling me a story about a man who was held in a prison for awhile in one of those countries that holds foreigners for no particular reason.... And when they let him go finally, and he went back to his country and got the interview on how it was being imprisoned, he said all the basic complaints but "The thing I missed the most while in prison was competition".
My client and I talked a little about this competitive need in men, and I admitted that I could see a big different in men's behaviour since the economy took a downturn here and in New York loads of financial industry men lost their jobs. Basically their behaviour is just plain shite, and they never behaved so badly like they are these days. I asked him if he thought this behavioural change was because they are lacking the competition they once had that helped them direct energy in a certain direction, instead of not having it go somewhere random, throwing it all over the place, and unfortunately in their appointments with me! We thought this could be true. Went on to say how men often refuse to retire because they just cant imagine not having the competition in the workplace. The drive for success and being the best they can be and outdo their coworkers. So this client and myself agreed on this topic, but then, since he is a man afterall, I went on to see to what extreme level the man's mind goes to in regards to defining competition... I changed the topic and talked about how I painted my apartment and was very happy with the colors in the hallway (totally off topic) and he announced "you see, you painted your apartment so nice, so you can compete with your neighbors apartments and have a better apartment then them."
LOLOLOL I said "NO DARLING! O my god!!!! You are forgetting I AM A WOMEN! For a women its quite simple, we are designed to make the home cozy and lovely. Its not as complicated as you imply. I never even had a competitive thought cross my mind when I was painting. I locked myself inside for 2 weeks and just painted for the love of loving my home."
I was completely amazed how his mind automatically saw competition in a very simple act of painting one's apartment. I know he felt very open to talk to me. We had agreed on a few things and he felt we were on one big common wavelength. But, wow, this sure made me think of how men and women are thinking very different on some levels.
So men, what do you think? Do you think that true happiness and contentment in men comes in the form of competing?
1. competing at work
2. competing for women
3. competing in sports
4. competing to have the best house on the block
Last edited by DollyDarling; 25-09-09 at 09:04.
We(men are hardwired) to compete for more sex, sometimes were just hard or just wired or weird too but most times its for the sex, I mean if you guys were told "no food for 2 days in return for sex, its a no brainer. And by the way just because you take out the trash every night, brush your teeth and put your smelly socks in the washbasket all the time dont mean your getting any sex at all at all.
Huh! What is wrong with Leo's? We are always right...
Originally Posted by DollyDarling
Gotta agree with you on mens competitiveness. I wouldn't openly class myself as very competitive but if I think about it I am. In fact the more I think about it the more I can see that I have a need to win, beat and be the best. I know a lot of guys who go to silly lengths to win. I'd put it down to more childishness though even though they are 30 - 40+. But it is also the banter that goes with it....the oneup man ship and the piss take out of each other that men tend to enjoy..
The difference is we men know we are competitive where as woman do it sub conciously. Imagine happily painting away and not even knowing that with each stroke your are in essence trying to compete with your neighbours!!
Women are just as competitive. That's why they invented makeup
Perverts like Freud and Desmond Morris reckon it all comes down to sex.
1. yesterday I had a busy day. Too busy for the amount of clients I actually had booked in. The first one overstayed by 15 minutes which ran into my next appointment. Having alot of trouble getting him to walk out the door cause he was grabbing at me. I called 2nd appointment to say "sorry Im a few minutes late since the last guy overstayed a bit". 2nd guy comes in and then overstays 30 minutes. I had a break then and ran a very quick errand. My next appointment, one who saw me before, he decides to talk for an extra half hour which runs into my 4th appointment. I call and say "Sorry he just wouldnt leave, very sorry about that" so 4th appointment decides to not leave for 2 hours! Which I might add was the Leo who talked about Competition in men. Was almost impossible to even get him to leave after he overstayed his welcome so intensely already! Even at the door, he presses his leg against me to show he's another erection. And grabbint my tits and ass... I finally had to tell him I was falling in love with him and he should leave. That did the trick. He left. A regular is calling this whole time 4th guy is overstaying and discussing competition, and I finally got back to him after Leo left, and said I MUST EAT SOMETHING AND GET AIR. So ran quickly for some Miso soup and ran back to see 5th guy. He is a regular so I tell him how frustrating my day has been and how everyone refused to leave on time. Also mentioned with me attempting to gain weight in my tits, getting more a sophie loren type body, its made them very grabby touchy feely like they were not before. Sure enough this guy overstays and all the way out the door is also grabbing at me.
So my conclusion is that by knowing what the guy was like before the current one, the current one felt compelled to top it.
2. Last client of the day, since I ran to get some soup, he goes to a private cigar lounge for a smoke. Having not much money on him, he smokes cigar and chats to a guy nearby about all the Scotch he knows about. The guy he talks to has lots of money, so to compete against the wealth of knowledge about Scotch that this poor man has, the rich man buys numerous glasses of the most expensive scotch in the bar. He also goes on to tell about his wife speaking at the United Nations, and about his very important job, which the poor scotch drinker talks about being a lawyer and some very important cases he has done...
Is a nice kind tho. Noone offended and there is a nice flow to the competitive moment. But in its essense the flow of this male bonding moment is based on competition
Certainly in some ways but not all ways.
Originally Posted by anonymouse
I can assure you darling, There was not even a tad of a competitive feeling in me when I was painting my apartment! I am an artist at heart anyway, one who never gets to do anything creative anymore. When I moved into my apartment, it was so ugly and I felt so sad to live there. I knew I had to make it a place that I felt cozy in and felt happy in. Once I started the basic painting, the artist in me came out and thats why I locked myself in my apt for 2 weeks and just ignored the phones and clients and just listened to my music very loudly and painted like a very happy and content artist.
Originally Posted by Last time
I am very aware that right next door is a 2 bedroom apartment, and that I only have a studio. No matter how beautiful my apartment is, I could never get 2 bedrooms. Im a realist. no, darling, this is not a competivie issue in the slightest.
Where do I feel competitive? I really would only feel that I compete with myself. I always try to make myself better then I am. But I am quite a reclusive and dont have friends and I work on my own, so who am I to compete with anyway? I just never was a competitive person. I think some girls get competitive when they feel threatened. Its like a survival tigress attitude kicks in and makes them competitive. I always had the outlook however that if things are not working out for me, then I just make a change. I never went and got competitive, I just changed something about my life to make an adjustment to where it was going not so good.
The difference is we men know we are competitive where as woman do it sub conciously. Imagine happily painting away and not even knowing that with each stroke your are in essence trying to compete with your neighbours!![/QUOTE]
I have to agree with you Last time women are competitve and it's on a concios level,
I read some where that the two biggest sins committed by women are pride and envy