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Thread: How men amuse themselves in tesco's

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Blog Entries

    Exclamation How men amuse themselves in tesco's


    Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or
    boyfriend along shopping

    This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in

    Dear Mrs. Murray,

    While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty
    Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and
    your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
    Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by
    our surveillance cameras:

    1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
    trolleys when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute

    3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to
    feminine products aisle.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
    'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

    5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and
    told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a
    Calor gas stove..

    7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him,
    he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

    8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
    mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

    9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the
    Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants

    10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming
    the Mission Impossible' theme.

    11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look'
    using different size funnels.

    12. December 18: Hid in a clothing! rack and when people browsed,
    yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

    13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker,
    assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices

    And; last, but not least:

    14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a
    while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here..'

    love n licks...Tiff xx

    " Tiffany Tees "
    Strangers are friends I have yet to meet.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    New York City - Visit me in the USA!


    HaHa. Very good
    Glad someone else is about and in a playful mood like me
    Tell you what, if I was at Tescos right now with that lad, I would be having loads of playful fun with him. He sounds like loads of fun! I miss fun people like this. They are soooooo FUCKING BORING over here in new york. Im all the time staring at the wall when they think they are being funny

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