Originally Posted by
Lynne
There's something about holidays that makes sex drip with delight. Unleash your basic instinct by doing it outdoors.
In summer, a young man's fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love – on the beach, behind a deserted dune, in a forest, a cave... anywhere the air is crisp and your woman is hot.
Almost every other species on earth "does the wild thing" outdoors. And there's absolutely no evidence that al fresco sex contributes to acid rain or the hole in the ozone layer. So what's stopping you?
Think of bonking in the bush as a bonding rite, a celebration of oneness with nature, and let the heat of your passion take you to new heights.
There's something exciting and primitive about guys who get it on in exotic locations. The same woman who rolls her eyes when you trot out those tired chat-up lines in the office may thrill at the suggestion of a moonlit hike up a secluded mountain path. Take heed – there's great mileage to be had out of the wilderness milieu.
Women love nothing better than being whisked off to romantic, out-of-the-way places. Plan the perfect road trip for two and she might be persuaded to siphon off your tank as you career down the highway of love. Leave it all to chance and you could find yourself pumping petrol at the self-service island.
What you need is a strategy. Whether you're an impecunious student or mega-wealthy suit, all daring dalliances should be planned well in advance. Here are a few ideas for making whoopee in the great outdoors. In all cases, safety is paramount. And remember to leave only footprints – the key to minimum impact is to make it look as though you never came.
Case the joint
Scope out your intended rendezvous point for possible problems, interruptions and escape routes. Riding the pony in a paddock or leaning your lover against a haystack can be fun, but there's nothing like the sudden presence of a snorting bull to put paid to her passions. If this happens, you'll have to rein in your Pegasus and run.
Those fields of golden wheat may seem sensual in margarine commercials, but they can be full of pitfalls too. Take the bovine landmines, for instance. While out on a romantic moonlit walk, Godfrey was doing great with Katya, his date, until he manfully picked her up, swung her around and lovingly placed her down in a wet cowpat. Did he get lucky that night? Nooooo. In fact, Katya hasn't spoken to him since.
If you're a student, your campus can provide the perfect backdrop for studying anatomy under the stars. At night the air is fresh and it all just feels so natural. Outdoor sex has an element of danger to it, because there's always the risk of being caught.
Students seeking an inconspicuous open-air location for love making, are advised to stay away from the quad though. Although many a sexual athlete claims to have scored on the sports field, you might want to avoid unhealthy competition and steer clear of areas containing the scoreboard. Rather opt for out-of-the-way areas – and be creative. Night time is also best; leave daytime romps to trained professionals, especially as getting caught in flagrante in public could result in expulsion.
If you're aching to get woody in the forest, choose your real estate wisely. Bone up on the foliage if you have to – stinging nettles and poison ivy are not particularly conducive to an erotic adventure. Neither is a nasty mosquito bite on the nether regions, so don't forget the insect repellent. A dense layer of decayed matter like leaves and pine needles can be soft, comfortable and easy to restore after being thrashed around on, but bring a sleeping bag or blanket to lie on. And check for scorpions and other nasties lying in wait..
It may be summer, but that's no guarantee of warmth, especially if you're naked and high up in the mountains. Frostbite on the privates can be quite painful, so if the weather is frightful, try the steamy comfort of your car. It'll be like being back in high school – only now you'll actually be getting some.
Take the plunge
Many a hot-blooded young man gets the urge to spear his girlfriend in a cool, blue lagoon, but truly adventurous souls swear by sex on the seabed. Of course you'll need scuba equipment for that but so what? The underwater view is a bonus.
Bear in mind that nothing deflates the lilo more than ice-cold water. To avoid the shrinkage factor, enthusiasts recommend warm, calm seas with a minimum temperature of 25°.
Plan your scuba romp the same way you'd plan a dive. Agree to what will happen beforehand – it's hard to sort out misunderstandings under water. And always remember, less is more: too much heavy scuba gear will just get in the way. Take the minimum and persuade your girlfriend to wear something you can easily take off. A bikini is ideal.
Trysting by the pool
If deep sea diving's not your thing, sex in a lagoon or swimming pool, where you can stand or hold onto the side, gives you the advantages of weightlessness and avoids equipment problems. In the shallow end, all you need do is stand on the bottom and adopt a comfortable position on the steps or along the side of the pool. Even in this domestic setting, buoyancy provides amazing avenues for trying out new positions, affording even the nerdiest males the ability to lift their partners entirely off the ground.
Balance is key. This is achieved through mutual co-operation. Wrapping her legs around your back and choosing the deepest part you can still stand up in, will assist in maintaining the position. Rocking her boat in the middle of a lagoon is a turn-on. Tumbling overboard with a splash as you attempt to stick your oar in, is not.
Freshwater lakes and lagoons differ in the consistency of the bottom and depth of the water. In such cases, you need a tube or some other flotation device, like a "noodle" – a long foam toy that allows considerable buoyancy. Each of you should have your own tube or "noodle" to support you while you find a position.
Consummating your love in the water can be an exhilarating experience but bear in mind that a number of water-borne diseases, parasites and pollutants might also be getting intimate with you. Natural hot springs are also incubators for a variety of bacteria.
Remember to keep it down: even if you choose a deserted venue, your passionate moans will travel great distances over water. Unless you're a card-carrying exhibitionist, you don't want to attract any needless attention.
Making waves in the ocean
The sandy seabed is much smoother and not nearly as rocky as the bed of a lake or lagoon. Ironically, the rhythm of the waves that hinder deep-water sex provide very enjoyable motions, provided you are secure enough not to be swept away.
Make sure the coast is clear. Two people standing in the water are not likely to attract much attention on a public beach, so long as no one is too close.
Remember that salt water can seep into the vagina during underwater sex, increasing the risk of irritation or infection. Also, water can wash away her natural lubricants, so you may want to stick to silicone-based lubricants that are waterproof and safe to use with condoms. The latter are prone to slipping off in the water, so it's best to put one on beforehand and then hold on to it at the base of your sailor.
Finally, when your "seamen" have set sail, please make sure not to let their rubber dinghy float away. Natural water sources need to be protected.
Get on yer bike
Firm up your body and, at the same time, transform yourself into a lithe Lothario. If you haven't used cycling as a part of foreplay to date, perhaps it's something you might consider working into your routine. There's something about the speed and adrenalin rush of riding a bicycle that gets the average woman's juices flowing.
Twenty minutes of vigorous cycling can be a big turn on as it stimulates the sympathetic nervous system – but lose the Lycra shorts. If you want lots of little bicycles in the back garden, go for cool baggy shorts to aerate the family jewels. By the same token, women should stick to cotton underwear.
Splash out in style
Spontaneous escapes get women in the mood to try anything. It may sound corny, but we women really are hornier when we feel emotionally close to our man.
If you really want to knock her socks off (along with the rest of her clothes), plan the perfect two-day getaway at a place you can both enjoy. Once you've picked the locale, spend your lunch hour surfing the Web and book a decent hotel with a few amenities (think gym or in-room Jacuzzi).
Fill the car or buy the plane tickets and make dinner reservations for Saturday night. It only takes a few minutes to arrange, but the reward will be huge if your girlfriend thinks you've put some effort into the plans.
Shower her with attention for an entire weekend and you're guaranteed to bring out her inner wild woman. We know your goal is to be buck naked and rocking the bed springs all weekend, but if you really want to make her hot for you, first schedule a few hours of just-for-her pampering treatments, like a massage and facial. (Just make sure you book Gertrude, the hairy Romanian masseuse, instead of tanned, muscular Bjorn from Sweden.) Tip: if you plan her pampering time for when the rugby game is on, you both win.
Not only will the spa alone-time make us miss you, but getting rubbed for a few hours makes us feel attractive and sexy, which makes for lethal, uninhibited hanky panky later on.
Unleash your wild side....?
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