Could you have a Serious Relationship with an Escort??

[El Gordo]

You've met someone - you're getting on really well, few dates etc etc, then she tells you she's an Escort.......

Would you have wanted to know ?

T
xxx

First, this probably isn't the best place to ask that question. I don't think we're really a representative sample of the population.

To answer the question you asked, I would certainly want to know. It's not something you could hide for long without lying, and lying is a bad way to start a relationship.

How would I react? I think I would be fine with it. I tend to see this as a service sector job like any other. But I can't really know, since it hasn't happened to me.

[SexyCoolbabe Lauren]

Its interesting because I am not in a relationship but I would like to think I will settle down with someone in the future.

However I do wonder if I would find it difficult because of my sexual history - I had an active sex life before I became an escort so now I think men would not want to know me considering the number of guys I have been sexually involved with over the last 25 years.

If I meet a guy outside of work I am usually honest about the line of work I am in & generally guys' are very intrigued & want to know more about it. Yet I bet they make a mental note not to get involved with me.

Sometimes I think I should lie until they get to know me but I personally think it would be unfair when they find out the truth at a later date especially if they fall in love with me. I remember one guy I used to know years ago who was & still is in love with me, he is a voyeur & loved to know & got very aroused just hearing about my sexual activity with other men - he would have married me if I gave him the chance but I didn't feel the same way about him.

It seems to me that it would take a very strong character to accept my past & realise that sex is not the same as 'making love' - working in the sex industry is very different to having sex with someone you love. He would have to fall in love with me as a person & accept that my job is just a job. I just hope that I find him one day!

I get punters who say they 'love' me but in reality they don't know me - they love the image I present in pictures & they only get to know me for an hour or so at a time. It's only an aspect of my personality to have sex with me not getting to know me as a person. How can you love someone in that time? It takes more than that to really love someone - that's what I think.

Anyway.....maybe I am destined to be a free spirit & not have a special someone? time will tell.....

[rover]

Its interesting because I am not in a relationship but I would like to think I will settle down with someone in the future.

However I do wonder if I would find it difficult because of my sexual history - I had an active sex life before I became an escort so now I think men would not want to know me considering the number of guys I have been sexually involved with over the last 25 years.

If I meet a guy outside of work I am usually honest about the line of work I am in & generally guys' are very intrigued & want to know more about it. Yet I bet they make a mental note not to get involved with me.

Sometimes I think I should lie until they get to know me but I personally think it would be unfair when they find out the truth at a later date especially if they fall in love with me. I remember one guy I used to know years ago who was & still is in love with me, he is a voyeur & loved to know & got very aroused just hearing about my sexual activity with other men - he would have married me if I gave him the chance but I didn't feel the same way about him.

It seems to me that it would take a very strong character to accept my past & realise that sex is not the same as 'making love' - working in the sex industry is very different to having sex with someone you love. He would have to fall in love with me as a person & accept that my job is just a job. I just hope that I find him one day!

I get punters who say they 'love' me but in reality they don't know me - they love the image I present in pictures & they only get to know me for an hour or so at a time. It's only an aspect of my personality to have sex with me not getting to know me as a person. How can you love someone in that time? It takes more than that to really love someone - that's what I think.

Anyway.....maybe I am destined to be a free spirit & not have a special someone? time will tell.....

That's a very moving and lovely post Sexycoolbabe- Lauren, I thank you.

[Anna23]

Its interesting because I am not in a relationship but I would like to think I will settle down with someone in the future.

However I do wonder if I would find it difficult because of my sexual history - I had an active sex life before I became an escort so now I think men would not want to know me considering the number of guys I have been sexually involved with over the last 25 years.

If I meet a guy outside of work I am usually honest about the line of work I am in & generally guys' are very intrigued & want to know more about it. Yet I bet they make a mental note not to get involved with me.

Sometimes I think I should lie until they get to know me but I personally think it would be unfair when they find out the truth at a later date especially if they fall in love with me. I remember one guy I used to know years ago who was & still is in love with me, he is a voyeur & loved to know & got very aroused just hearing about my sexual activity with other men - he would have married me if I gave him the chance but I didn't feel the same way about him.

It seems to me that it would take a very strong character to accept my past & realise that sex is not the same as 'making love' - working in the sex industry is very different to having sex with someone you love. He would have to fall in love with me as a person & accept that my job is just a job. I just hope that I find him one day!

I get punters who say they 'love' me but in reality they don't know me - they love the image I present in pictures & they only get to know me for an hour or so at a time. It's only an aspect of my personality to have sex with me not getting to know me as a person. How can you love someone in that time? It takes more than that to really love someone - that's what I think.

Anyway.....maybe I am destined to be a free spirit & not have a special someone? time will tell.....

If I ever settle down, i'll be better quiet about this job. It's just a job and I'm not supposed to give my partner a list of all jobs i've ever done. It will b past and so will he have some past and I never ask about past, maybe because I'm afraid he could ask me too. For a husband is much easier if he doesnt have to deal with certain stuff.
On the other hand, if he asks, I'll tell the truth and then it will b only up to him to deal with it.

[kerry lad in town]

If I ever settle down, i'll be better quiet about this job. It's just a job and I'm not supposed to give my partner a list of all jobs i've ever done. It will b past and so will he have some past and I never ask about past, maybe because I'm afraid he could ask me too. For a husband is much easier if he doesnt have to deal with certain stuff.
On the other hand, if he asks, I'll tell the truth and then it will b only up to him to deal with it.

Anna if you want to try the settle down carry on, ill have a go with you

[Anna23]

Anna if you want to try the settle down carry on, ill have a go with you

Thank u for such generous offer. The image of enjoying ur equipment every night seems very likable to me
I'll get back to u once I'm done escorting

[Quarterpoundher]

That's a very moving and lovely post Sexycoolbabe- Lauren, I thank you.

I agree... very thoughtful and honest post and probably very representative of the paradox any Escort would face. Tell the truth and hope the person is that rare creature who truly would not mind and not just saying they don't mind or not say anything and be starting on the wrong footing. Very hard choice.

[Taylor of Manchester]

can i turn this question around and ask if an escort woulkd ever consider going out with a punter?? i would think not, as i'd imagine they look down on us for some reason? am i right here??

The reason that I choose not to date clients is because its not a realistic start for any kind of relationship.

Escorts (or the few that I know) don't judge guys for coming to see us. You have your own reasons for punting, just as we have ours for working.

A good relationship can't just be based on sex, and as thats how've met in first place, where do you go from there ??

I did see someone for a while, but he wanted me to dress up for bedtime - and I hated that, and resented him for thinking that was ok. That made me feel more like a whore than anything else I've ever done!!

Needless to say - it didn't last very long!!

Bit of a can of worms really this one........

And I agree with Lauren, in that guys develop feelings, but its a bit of a rose tinted view, we get spots, PMT and all the other shite - just like wifey and/or girlfriend....


T
xxx

[Tommy Singh]

its not a realistic start for any kind of relationship.

Id be more inclined to say its not ideal.How realistic something is is really down to how sensible and head strong the ppl involved are.

A good relationship can't just be based on sex, and as thats how've met in first place, where do you go from there ??

Well i never believed in love at first sight but i do believe in attraction at first sight.the former leads to developing more love,the latter leads to lust.Love is an accumulation of respect,attraction and a few other things.What causes probs in relationships in when these various things are out of sync in one or each of the couple.

I did see someone for a while, but he wanted me to dress up for bedtime - and I hated that, and resented him for thinking that was ok. That made me feel more like a whore than anything else I've ever done!!

I wouldnt go along with this at all.I think everyone to themselves.

in that guys develop feelings, but its a bit of a rose tinted view

I can never undertsand this.Guys get frustrated,obcessive and even resentful and fearful of giving a woman any space.They just dont realise its a job.

I think guys in general dont give women enough of a chance.They jump in the deep end,all emotional and place too much emphasis on those initial feelings which are temporary rather than developing the friendship and letting things go from there.If something is meant to be ,its meant to be.

I was meant to be an idiot but got it wrong,
Westside.

[Cable87]

Great commentary and insight from everyone on this topic.



As for me, I suppose that I'd also have to say that I'd prefer to know, if for no other reason than to be able to 'get my head around it', if that's at all possible, and also to know that there could be some possible health risks hanging over my head, depending on what services were made available, as Westie pointed out.


I had a 'thing' with a 'working girl' in Amsterdam for a short time; we'd met at her 'work', and I'd gone to see her again on a repeat visit to the city. After that, she gave me her phone number, and we began talking 2 or 3 days a week. I would ask her about 'work' sometimes, and she would never go into much detail, just saying wether it was a 'good or 'bad' day, both financially as well as whether she got any hassle from clients. Most of the time we talked of completely normal things, never focusing on her job. She talked frequently about her goals for after she got out of the business. We'd even gotten to the point where we made plans to go out on my next visit to the city, going to a museum and dinner or something like that; on my arrival to Amsterdam that day, she rang me, in tears, saying that she really liked me, but just couldn't let herself be in a relationship while she was working the job, as she knew that she couldn't stand to do the work if she felt she was betraying someone that way.

She's been out of the job for quite a while now, back home doing exactly what she planned for herself. She was still working there on a few of my later visits to the city, and I would always go to see her at work, and she would let me drop in for awhile, but we never did 'business' after that time she rang me, nor would I have wanted to be with her under those conditions/circumstances; she said to me that she didn't want to think of me as a 'client', and to be honest, I didn't want to think of her as a 'prostitute', as we'd gotten to know each other beyond that initial stage of just physical attraction.


Could I have lived with her 'job' had we started a real relationship? Maybe. I like to believe that I could've handled it, so long as I held on to the knowledge that it was going to be temporary, and so long as a certain line was never crossed; I suppose it's the difference between what 'services' are typically on offer. I don't think I would've been at all comfortable if the 'service' she was providing included things like GFE and OWO, or anything like that. As long as she loved me and no one else, I used to think to myself, I could see it through until she was done with the job.


I'd love to hear from any of the ladies out there who DO have BF's or husband's; do they know? If yes, how do they feel about it? If not, how hard is it to keep it from them? There are lots of women in porn and other segments of this giant category of work that we call 'The Sex Industry' who have BF's and Husband's, it would be great to have some insight into the topic from them.


All the best,



Cable 87