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Thread: Open letter to the Chancellor of the Exchequer from TIFF...X

  1. #1
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    Cool Open letter to the Chancellor of the Exchequer from TIFF...X

    Dear Mr. Darling,



    Please find below my suggestion for fixing Britain's economy. Instead of

    giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish

    parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan :


    There are about 20 million people over 50 in the work force. Pay them

    £1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following

    stipulations:



    1) They MUST retire. Twenty million job openings - Unemployment fixed.



    2) They MUST buy a new British CAR. Twenty million cars ordered – Auto

    Industry fixed.



    3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis

    fixed.



    4) They MUST send their kids to school / college /university - Crime rate

    fixed



    5) They MUST buy £50 of alcohol / tobacco a week - there's your money back in duty /

    tax etc



    It can't get any easier than that!



    P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back

    there falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances.



    If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you know. If not,

    please disregard.

    lol Tiff ( o )( o )Xx

    " Tiffany Tees "
    Strangers are friends I have yet to meet.





  2. #2
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    Good plan Tiffany and Item 1 would make more sense then throwing going money after bad into banks that just seem to be endless money pits run by nameless and apparently untouchable idiots who get rewarded for failure and the banks never seem to reach a point of becoming solvent and shock horror actually lending money to people but just keep asking for more like Oliver Twist but on number 5 and not really being serious but…

    The government would get the duty yes but would lose it as fast and cost much more in the long run to have an NHS able to deal with millions of liver failures and lung cancers… plus all those millions of over 50 millionaires would probably get in there British cars and invest the money on epic booze cruises to France and the cost of such a massive custom operation would be huge.

    You would solve the youth crime by sending to school but what about the huge old age crime wave from all those over 50’s pissed out of there schull with nothing to do from 50 onwards and a boot full of booze…

    If they had no choice but buy a British car the UK would be I breach of EU competition rules so they would have to either leave or pay massive fines but I would like to see the old Morris Minor back on the roads again…

    Still…all in all it would be an improvement and might even work here only we already spend 50 a week each completely voluntarily on drink and have done for yonks but we still ended up in the mire…

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Quarterpoundher View Post
    Good plan Tiffany and Item 1 would make more sense then throwing going money after bad into banks that just seem to be endless money pits run by nameless and apparently untouchable idiots who get rewarded for failure and the banks never seem to reach a point of becoming solvent and shock horror actually lending money to people but just keep asking for more like Oliver Twist but on number 5 and not really being serious but…

    The government would get the duty yes but would lose it as fast and cost much more in the long run to have an NHS able to deal with millions of liver failures and lung cancers… plus all those millions of over 50 millionaires would probably get in there British cars and invest the money on epic booze cruises to France and the cost of such a massive custom operation would be huge.

    You would solve the youth crime by sending to school but what about the huge old age crime wave from all those over 50’s pissed out of there schull with nothing to do from 50 onwards and a boot full of booze…

    If they had no choice but buy a British car the UK would be I breach of EU competition rules so they would have to either leave or pay massive fines but I would like to see the old Morris Minor back on the roads again…

    Still…all in all it would be an improvement and might even work here only we already spend 50 a week each completely voluntarily on drink and have done for yonks but we still ended up in the mire…
    To hell with the Morris Minor, GET A ROVER!


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    Quote Originally Posted by rover View Post
    To hell with the Morris Minor, GET A ROVER!

    I dunno Rover… It would depend if you were "unleaded” and I’d have to have a look under the “hood” first . Put yourself in the buy and sell and I’ll come round and kick the tires and as they say the old dog for the long road but I’m more of Fiat chicachento man myself or as they call it in Ireland the Fiat c**ttogetinto…

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    Quote Originally Posted by Quarterpoundher View Post
    I dunno Rover… It would depend if you were "unleaded” and I’d have to have a look under the “hood” first . Put yourself in the buy and sell and I’ll come round and kick the tires and as they say the old dog for the long road but I’m more of Fiat chicachento man myself or as they call it in Ireland the Fiat c**ttogetinto…
    Most of the time I am unleaded, although the ladies would be impressed if they looked under my hood and see my magnificent camshaft, although that would take a fair bit of stripping.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by rover View Post
    Most of the time I am unleaded, although the ladies would be impressed if they looked under my hood and see my magnificent camshaft, although that would take a fair bit of stripping.
    Have you passed the NCT test with Y.....

    Nearly

    Came

    Twice


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    Quote Originally Posted by Quarterpoundher View Post
    Have you passed the NCT test with Y.....

    Nearly

    Came

    Twice

    I think she would have failed me, but I had the time of my life, she's some woman.

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    Default "Rover",A Worlds First.

    Quote Originally Posted by Quarterpoundher View Post
    I dunno Rover… It would depend if you were "unleaded” and I’d have to have a look under the “hood” first . Put yourself in the buy and sell and I’ll come round and kick the tires and as they say the old dog for the long road but I’m more of Fiat chicachento man myself or as they call it in Ireland the Fiat c**ttogetinto…
    Bit of useless information from an "Anorak" --- No "unleaded" needed in this Rover,--- This 1950 Rover P4 was powered by a Jet Turbine,so tis Kerosene required,(home heating oil). --- twas reckoned this Rover was a bit of a Dog to handle.

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    Quote Originally Posted by LLAMEDOS View Post
    Bit of useless information from an "Anorak" --- No "unleaded" needed in this Rover,--- This 1950 Rover P4 was powered by a Jet Turbine,so tis Kerosene required,(home heating oil). --- twas reckoned this Rover was a bit of a Dog to handle.
    Kerosene is nice with a drop of 7Up, that's what makes the Rover HARD to handle and to think I have a 1000 lires of it.

  10. #10
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    Default "hot dog ?"

    Quote Originally Posted by rover View Post
    Kerosene is nice with a drop of 7Up, that's what makes the Rover HARD to handle and to think I have a 1000 lires of it.
    I think you should be kept on a tight leash Rover,-- drinking all that Kerosene is gonna make you " Well Oiled",--- ha ha ! Keep away from any naked flames cos one doggy burp
    could ignite and alas, there would be no "Rovers Return".

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