Fuck me it is true - we are smelly!

[Violette]

Carlos, I am ROFLMAO! Absolutely brilliant! I couldn't answer the phone I was cracking up so much when I read this. Ah, is this a return to the good ole days of friendly bantering posts and jovial camaraderie? I live in hope.

[pats bodyguard]

Are you........IRISH...........MALE............AGED BETWEEN 18 AND 80?[/B]



Research recently conducted on the E-I Private Escort Form has established beyond doubt (amongst other things) that 50% of Irish adult males regularly visit escorts and that a sizeable proportion of this group are unaware of modern anal hygiene. In a report, recently leaked by an intrepid reporter using the codename "big daddy69", the state of the average adult Irish male anus was graphically exposed......and it was not a pretty sight.

But help is at hand for all you punting gentleman. Consign anal odours, skid marks and dingleberries to the past with a revolutionary new eco-friendly and biodegradable product which is grown and collected right here in Ireland. The Pine Fresh Butt-Plug (c) Reg. TM. is the answer to all your prayers and to many escorts prayers also. This gift of nature will make your anus smell like a clear pine fresh mountain morning and will remove any remnants from your last bowel opening. The ladies will swoon as you pass and you will no longer be embarassed to drop your pants and submit yourself to their careful inspection.

Insert the Pine Fresh Butt-Plug one hour before your appointment and continue to go about your business as normal. Then 10 minutes before you meet your service provider remove the Pine Fresh Butt-Plug and dispose of it carefully in a disposable sealable plastic bag which any local store will be happy to supply you with for 20c. The ladies will be so overwhelmed by the pine fresh odour emitting from your anus, that they will beg to be allowed to rim you.



The above model is the female version from the European black pine (however males and white people can also use it and it has no noticeable side effects)



[Health Warning: This product is not suitable for persons under 18 years of age, pregnant women, or tight arsed gentlemen. Anal virgins are advised to only use the product in conjunction with a waterbased lubricant. Farting should be avoided whilst the product is in place, as should the consumption of excessive quantities of alcohol.

MARVADO GREEN HEALTHCARE PRODUCTS INC.

[COLOR="Green"

"If you love your ass, then others will love it too"

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fukin brilliant carlos. lmfao