Fuck me it is true - we are smelly!

[Alyssa Jenkins]

Hiya Ric thought you had gone awol hadnt seen youin such a longtime hope you are well xxxxx

[RicFlair]

Hiya Ric thought you had gone awol hadnt seen youin such a longtime hope you are well xxxxx

Nah I was here I just wasn't posting much. I was just quietly modding.

[BigPants]

Or you could just say, as one escort said to me once,
"Please make sure you give your ass a good wash, cos i'm a rimmer!"

In fact now i just tell them i am going to make myself squeaky clean for them
that soon puts a smile on their face and the service that follows - is excellent

except where they say, so and so is extra, or "i dont do that"

then i get dressed , still clean and leave after asking for my money back

[DollyDarling]

They should tell you some things are extra before you get there. This is the stuff to tell someone BEFORE booking him in. Shame on them for trying to pull a stunt like that. You do have that right to leave. But what a pain to have came all the way out thinking one thing and finding out its different when you get there. Thats not fair.

[DollyDarling]

DId you get a sex change while you were away? That blond girl on all your posts, is that you??

[luther]

DId you get a sex change while you were away? That blond girl on all your posts, is that you??

LMFAO............................. Dolly, you're one funny babe.................

[carlos marvado]

Are you........IRISH...........MALE............AGED BETWEEN 18 AND 80?




Research recently conducted on the E-I Private Escort Form has established beyond doubt (amongst other things) that 50% of Irish adult males regularly visit escorts and that a sizeable proportion of this group are unaware of modern anal hygiene. In a report, recently leaked by an intrepid reporter using the codename "big daddy69", the state of the average adult Irish male anus was graphically exposed......and it was not a pretty sight.

But help is at hand for all you punting gentleman. Consign anal odours, skid marks and dingleberries to the past with a revolutionary new eco-friendly and biodegradable product which is grown and collected right here in Ireland. The Pine Fresh Butt-Plug (c) Reg. TM. is the answer to all your prayers and to many escorts prayers also. This gift of nature will make your anus smell like a clear pine fresh mountain morning and will remove any remnants from your last bowel opening. The ladies will swoon as you pass and you will no longer be embarassed to drop your pants and submit yourself to their careful inspection.

Insert the Pine Fresh Butt-Plug one hour before your appointment and continue to go about your business as normal. Then 10 minutes before you meet your service provider remove the Pine Fresh Butt-Plug and dispose of it carefully in a disposable sealable plastic bag which any local store will be happy to supply you with for 20c. The ladies will be so overwhelmed by the pine fresh odour emitting from your anus, that they will beg to be allowed to rim you.




The above model is the female version from the European black pine (however males and white people can also use it and it has no noticeable side effects)



Health Warning: This product is not suitable for persons under 18 years of age, pregnant women, or tight arsed gentlemen. Anal virgins are advised to only use the product in conjunction with a waterbased lubricant. Farting should be avoided whilst the product is in place, as should the consumption of excessive quantities of alcohol.

MARVADO GREEN HEALTHCARE PRODUCTS INC.

"If you love your ass, then others will love it too"

[Mousey]

... and for fucks sake be careful taking them out

[luther]

I'm surprised it took you this long...

[nicegirlsarenice]

lol... brilliant carlos.

I have a question about deodourants. You know how they sometimes say just to spray them under your arms...? Does that mean there's not much point spraying them elsewhere or what....?