Originally Posted by
princecharming
I know this subject will have been discussed here before, so please indulge me. I wondered if any clients have ever fallen in love with a girl they visit? Have any ladies had experience of this happening to them?
I have to apologise for the length of this post, but I need to write about this because it's driving me insane. To be blunt, I'm a fool. I'm married, I have kids, and I've allowed myself to fall for a lovely thai girl who just makes me want her more each time I see her. I know there will be different points of view on this, I know I'll hear some things I maybe don't want to hear, but I'd really like some practical advice too on how I could get myself out of this situation. I'm feeling so much pain right now, and I (sort of) know within myself what I should do - not looking for sympathy (ok, maybe some understanding) because this is something I got myself into, I'm an adult, and I should have seen it coming.
To start at the beginning. I've been visiting ladies for maybe 5 or 6 years. Why? I'm married, why the hell do I need to do that? Well I know there are lots of married men who do this, for various reasons, but I suppose I just needed a bit of excitement, I have needs that are not being met at home, but that's something I need to work on - I love my family and would never leave my wife. I've had good experiences and some bad, like most clients. When it's been good, it's been amazing, and I've been to see some girls as a "regular" for a number of years - however, I've always been aware of the the fact that girls who are in this profession are in it for a number of reasons, but it's primarily about making money in as short a space of time as possible - like any other business I suppose. There is also the important division between a girl's private life and her professional persona if that's the right word. I know that clients visiting a professional escort or working girl are buying in to an illusion - speaking for myself, it's best not to think about the fact that you're just another customer, and her smiles and laughter are seen by other men too, you're not special or unique, no matter what your ego may like to tell you. With the right girl, it's a nice experience for as long as it lasts, then you go home and forget about it until it's time to visit her again in a month ot 2 months time.
I've visited various flats over the years, most of them run by someone I've known for as long as I've been visiting girls, and she introduced me only a few months ago to a Thai girl called Angel - not her real name, but she is an angel! We got talking and really hit it off, Angel is very sweet and friendly, very confident and outgoing. I came back to seee her the following week, and she gave me her personal phone number. I called her a number of times and we arranged to meet at a hotel. I paid for the hotel, she charged me £100 and stayed with me nearly the whole day. We drank champagne, ate chocolates, had sex, and talked. I found out all about her family, her background, her real Thai name, it was like being with a girlfriend, she smiled and we kissed, we cuddled, and got on really well. She told me she was doing this only to pay off her debt, which she's built up after breaking up with her husband. She also has kids to support and lives by herself. She told me she likes me and enjoys my company, which is why she only takes £100 for our hotel visits. This has happened twice and I'm due to see her again next month. I know where she lives, she lets me pick her up from her house, and we call each other regularly.
I've said to her that I think about her a lot, and have developed feelings for her. I know these feelings are only based on being with her for a short time, and saying I'm in love might be too strong, but I certainly have a terrible crush on her, and feel myself falling more deeply for her every time I see her. Sometimes I meet with her just for a coffee. She always looks amazing, petite, golden skinned, with a smile that just melts me. Even her real name is like exotic poetry to me, her eyes, her sweet little toes, her lips, the way she smells, everything about her I adore.
And how do I feel about this? Happy? No, quite the opposite. I'm really miserable because I just can't cope with the simple fact that she sees other guys. I know it's just what she does to earn a living, even if she says she won't be doing it forever. Last time I met with her she was travelling the following day a hundred miles to stay with someone who owns a flat and she'll be there for a couple of weeks. And this is killing me. I was so depressed that she was leaving - leaving to go and service other men - that I stayed off work that day and just couldn't function.
I'm trying to work out in my head what it is that I want. "My cake and eat it" is one answer, I know, but I'm not sure really - Angel doesn't want me to fall for her, she doesn't want to be responsible for breaking up a marriage. I think she's happy to continue seeing me but I need to treat her almost like a "mistress", where my wife gets at least half of my attention and effort and I see Angel when I can.
So, I have two options as far as I can see (tell me if I'm wrong): break it off and don't see her again in order to protect myself from any further pain, or continue to see her when I can, enjoy her company, and just get used to the fact that she does what she does, and I'm not special - she likes me, but that's it. When I asked her if I could see her after she's given all this up she said "we'll see", which I took as a "no". I know I'm feeling sorry for myself, and I'm not the first to get into this situation, but I needed to share this as I can't talk to anyone about it. If you've read this far, well done(!) and I'd like to hear any comments people may have. Bracing myself...
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