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Thread: should I tell her?

  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by experienced punter View Post
    great answer

    I've taken a day off work due to the stress of this situation
    Don't stress so much honey. Obviously you like this lady a lot, but it is still quite early days for you. I say if she can't accept you the way you are, she is not the lady for you, BUT I don't think you need to make a FULL CONFESSION today. Take it easy, get to know her better first!

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by mr.britvic View Post
    wake up man , get a grip on your self. are you seriously mad or just on the speedy way there. i am glad you are in a happy place at the moment with your lady friend. stay happy....
    keep your mouth SHUT. A CLOSED MOUTH CATCHES NO FLIES...she is fishing to see what kind of real man you are before she goes to the next stage of the relationship...tell her what she needs to hear (or wants to hear) she wants to know that she is with a man, but she dosent really want to know to much. tell her you enjoyed life and led a healthy sex life, some serious ,some not so serious. give her a number if she pressed.not to high (or else you have no respect) not to low (or else you are a pussy, as to being a lover of pussy)
    what you have done in the past i take as a hobby has led only to enjoyment for you ,with no body being hurt , so why let it hurt you now.
    ENJOY IT AND RIDE LIKE THE WIND.....
    plus with this so called recession all your sex will be FREE (but man always pays someway)

    hope this goes some way to help your little problem.
    my next advice , i must charge a small fee. but i know you are good for it....
    regards
    I GIVE GOOD ADVICE ON ALL PROBLEMS , ITS WHAT I GET PAID TO DO...ha ha
    regards
    All I can say to you Mr. Britvic is "Og itch ee plov, tee ra nee sy" !!

    dom

  3. Default

    [QUOTE=Wildthang;81375] But then again dont they say all relationships are built on trust and honesty! [QUOTE]

    Anyone who tells you this is either lying or else doesn't have very long relationships.

    All relationships are built on knowing what to tell and what to keep secret to avoid hurting the other person. I'm married 22 years and love my wife, but she's crap at sex. My relationship has only been happy since I started satisfying that part of my needs elsewhere. Don't do it, don't tell her. She does not even want to know the truth; her question is exactly like the "Does my bum look big in this?" question - she already knows the reply she wants and any other answer will piss her off big time.

    PS - still and all, the sex-adict answer does appeal to my ego!

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by experienced punter View Post
    Help me out with opinions please. I'm seeing a lovely woman a cracker for past 2 weeks I've known her for months as a 'friend', now it is more or less u could say a relationship etc A few nights ago she pressed me on my past sexual experiences 'how many women have u slept with in the past?' I kinda changed the subject but I'm being pressed & know I cant avoid the question any longer, I've slept with many escorts & non escorts over the past few years should I admit that I slept with many escorts I genuinely dont know what her reaction would be shes that kinda girl very open-minded herself, This is causing me sleepless nights Should I tell her?
    DO NOT tell her about the escorts - NO WAY - I cannot stress that enough. Tell her you're a virgin, seriously ! Lie and there is a chance that ye will both be happy, Tell the truth and its all downhill from here on in.

    Remember people tend to believe what they like to believe , never mind the facts and all that crap.

  5. #25
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    Cool Hmmm ....

    Quote Originally Posted by experienced punter View Post
    Help me out with opinions please. I'm seeing a lovely woman a cracker for past 2 weeks I've known her for months as a 'friend', now it is more or less u could say a relationship etc A few nights ago she pressed me on my past sexual experiences 'how many women have u slept with in the past?' I kinda changed the subject but I'm being pressed & know I cant avoid the question any longer, I've slept with many escorts & non escorts over the past few years should I admit that I slept with many escorts I genuinely dont know what her reaction would be shes that kinda girl very open-minded herself, This is causing me sleepless nights Should I tell her?
    Tell her that you slept with quite a few ladies. Do not give her the exact / estimate number if this number is bigger then let's say ... 30- 40 women.
    If it's any bigger, she may not trust you enough to have a serious relationship, she'll probably be afraid that you'll be looking soon for other conquests.

    In any situation, do not tell her that you slept with escorts. We are women like all other women and excepting the straight forward money arrangements , there is nothing you could do with any of us that you theoretically won't be able to do with any non escort lady if she is a bit open minded. Telling her about the escorts may make her a little self conscious about her own appearance and sexual performance, even if she is drop dead gorgeous and excellent in bed . Not sure if she is the type, but she may not approve seeing escorts if she has very strong moral or religious values. In any case, I would say a big NO to the escort part.

    Now ... my advice is based on the presumption that she is a nice girl ... enjoying the usual nice girly stuff and wanting a serious monogamous relationship
    If she is anything like I used to be before becoming an escort .... tell her everything ... and make sure you include loads of kinky details and practical demonstrations

    (Currently posting using ID "Sensual Delights")

  6. #26
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    Default Well,

    Quote Originally Posted by experienced punter View Post
    ,
    I'm seeing a lovely woman a cracker for past 2 weeks

    Whats her name Jacobs??

    A few nights ago she pressed me on my past sexual experiences 'how many women have u slept with in the past?'

    She sounds a little insecure.A confident woman would care less about your past.

    I kinda changed the subject

    Bad move.Dont ever do that with a woman.By avoiding the subject ,you maintain it on the agenda.

    but I'm being pressed & know I cant avoid the question any longer

    She has either being hurt a bit in the past and doesnt want a repeat of it or she is simply a little insecure.If those are her actually words,how many women you slept with.Women would word that a bit different.

    , I've slept with many escorts & non escorts over the past few years should I admit that I slept with many escorts

    Its only lately she is close to you so i see two probs here.

    First one is she wont know wether you saw those escorts behind a gfs back or not.Whether you did or not ,she doesnt know and can only take your word for it.So inless your a very honest type from the beginning ,telling her could arouse this suspcion.

    Number two is the paying aspect.A woman would get over a guy seeing an escort in his past ,as long as it wasnt behind someones back but some,not all,but some could wonder how responsable a guy is.Dating and getting close to a guy is a very big thing for a woman and most guys just dont realise that.Women dont want a guy that spends all his money on rubbish unless its her rubbish.women want a guy that is there for her,will talk or listen to her,will help her out and one who is in control and responsable.


    I genuinely dont know what her reaction would be

    And we do?

    This is causing me sleepless nights

    You dont have enough problems so.


    Should I tell her?

    From reading your post i wouldnt right now to be honest.You dont know each other well well and this is obvious from her asking you this kind of question so soon into a relationship and by you not knowing what her reaction would be.

    You already changed the subject and dont do it again.Best thing is to play it safe if your in doubt.

    I told a few girls i met that i saw escorts and there wasnt any probs but most of these were just one night stands,sleep overs etc.

    If i were with a girl a good while and she asked me it would depend on her type and i would know what type she is by then.

    By the way,she is too loose tongued if you ask me.Your not together very long and generally you dont ask questions about exes or past partners so soon into a relationship but everyone is different and like i said she might only being trying to protect herself from being hurt etc. etc.

    Thats my PHD in the bag,
    Dr. Westside.

  7. #27
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    Default What?

    Quote Originally Posted by experienced punter View Post
    great answer

    I've taken a day off work due to the stress of this situation
    Jesus man your stress tolerance to fuckin low.Very low.Its a meditation course you should be asking us about.

    She isnt in your life as a partner long enough to let it destroy your mind like this.Your getting too serious too soon and trust me when i say that can have a very bad affect on a relationship.

    Its not like she called you a prick.Its only a question and give any old answer at all but the truth.

    You know why?Because if you tell her the truth and she accepts it,it wont matter because youll be off work the following day then ,worrying about whether she will stay with you or not or what is on her mind.

    Enjoy the realtionship in its infancy.Use a chill mond and relax and have fun and enjoy each others company.No need for to be getting so serious so soon.

    enjoy the journey and youll arrive at the destination,
    Westside.

    PS if i was your employer id fire your arse out the door.What did you tell him?Flu?Menigitis?Anal Fisure?

  8. #28
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    Tell her how many non escorts you've seen but don't tell her about the escorts. Anyone that's not part of this world sees all this as been wrong. It's perfectly normal for all of us here. But for anyone outside the escorting world to know they wouldn't understand. She would think what's wrong with you for seeing escorts. Did you catch some std from them. She would think she's at risk and your some sort of weirdo. Why tell your girlfriend. Would you tell your friends or family. I don't think so. It'll spoil everything by teling her. I understand your need to be honest with her, but this is one thing not to tell her even if she is open minded. She won't trrust you again. She'll always think your seeing an escort on the sly. If you tell her you log in here from time to time she won't trust you. As she'll think you won't be able to resist seeingl these escorts who advertise here.

    If your not going to heed mine and others advice then test the water. If escorting is mentioned on tv or in a newspaper article bring the subject up and see her opinion on girls that do this kind of work. And ask what she thinks of men that see escorts.
    Help Keyla in her fight with cancer. Every little helps.
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  9. #29
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    Well she asked HOW MANY,she didn't ask if they were escorts. The escort question would probably never come to her mind. So u should better keep it that way.
    Regards the number i suggest to ask about her number first and then add 5, plus another one for each year or two u r older than her, if u know what i mean. So u should get an acceptable number to satisfy every woman's curiosity.
    Me personaly, I dont really think this is anybody elses business and I would never ask for an exact no. I just wonder what I will say if my future fiance asks me
    Maybe she's just asking for safety reasons and if u come out with a higher no. she will just suggest to go for std check, which is right.

  10. #30

    Thumbs down think about it.....

    Quote Originally Posted by thehighwayman View Post
    Tell her how many non escorts you've seen but don't tell her about the escorts. Anyone that's not part of this world sees all this as been wrong. It's perfectly normal for all of us here. But for anyone outside the escorting world to know they wouldn't understand. She would think what's wrong with you for seeing escorts. Did you catch some std from them. She would think she's at risk and your some sort of weirdo. Why tell your girlfriend. Would you tell your friends or family. I don't think so. It'll spoil everything by teling her. I understand your need to be honest with her, but this is one thing not to tell her even if she is open minded. She won't trrust you again. She'll always think your seeing an escort on the sly. If you tell her you log in here from time to time she won't trust you. As she'll think you won't be able to resist seeingl these escorts who advertise here.

    If your not going to heed mine and others advice then test the water. If escorting is mentioned on tv or in a newspaper article bring the subject up and see her opinion on girls that do this kind of work. And ask what she thinks of men that see escorts.
    think about the serious relationships you've had and count them. This is what you work off ONLY ANYONE YOU WENT OUT WITH FOR MORE THAN A YEAR THAT MEANT ANYTHING TO YOU. Women have memories like an elephant and passing comments regardless how trivial, they pick up on, a name, an event you went to,a wedding, who went with you, a holiday etc. women will set you up when you don't even realise. this is what you work on, it takes some memory to be a liar, just ask ninex3, he is the one that could advise you best, seriously though never tell her the number and no matter how tempted you are to mention an escort you have to think of the consequences it would have on your life, who she could say it to, who they would say it to....man it's not worth it, you're opening a can of worms and setting yourself up for a major fall, i promise you she will hold you as near in brackets to a paedophile . . .forget it!

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