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Thread: God Bless The Wee Bug I Killed Tonight

  1. #1
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    Default God Bless The Wee Bug I Killed Tonight

    Oh dear Oh dear...

    Dolly, the killer I feel so fucking guilty. I didnt want to do it, but it was just too much him sitting with me on the exercise bike. Right so, this wee bug, I do believe related to the New York City Cockroach family, but a bit of a runt, but having the fucking brilliant intelligence of a city slicker Cockroach, jaysus, I had decided not to kill him for all the cleverness he had shown me the past 2 weeks.

    So on my table, jack-o'-all-trades table, baskets of 40 perfumes, baskets of 40 lotions, some silk flowers (thank god Ill never kill them), my huge Mac desktop, 20 pairs of glasses hanging from the TV cord, a display stand of necklaces I never put around me, and every evening my fragrant saffron & bean soup I eat for dinner ...... and this fucking smart Cock-bug maneuvering thru the glass bottles, tin bottles, silk flower vase, up/down/around my monster MAC desktop, I tried to kill him at first, but I couldnt catch him! He was so fast! He would dart behind this or that bottle, always walking, never flying tho' he had those ugly wings. He just walked on, as if oblivious to the cup and bit of paper I chased him with, hoping to cup him in and then tosser him out the window. Just strolling along, always one step ahead of me, I grew to respect the cock-bug. I decided I would not kill him. I would just try letting him live around my jack-o'-all-trades table. As long as he didnt bother me, Id not bother his buggy life. But its as if the fuck-bug could read my mind! Just when I was at peace with my new roomate, He got BOLD!!!

    The bugger fucker started running out and looking me right in the eyes when I ate my bean saffron soup. He wanted everything I was eating! I ate yogurt, and cock-bug came forward, I ate Saffron-bean soup and cock-bug came forward, I drank protein powder in goats milk and cock-bug came forward. I had to swat at him each time I took a bite of something. He was relentless! Insisting I share the sup and break the bread with him. This went on my entire meal and finally I tossed him on the floor to teach him a lesson. Not too hard tho', might've made a few bruises, but nothing too serious. He left me alone then for the last few bites of yogurt.

    Today, was telling the story to my Yoga teacher. I asked her all-knowing advice on what to do about Cock-bug. She did blink a few times.... but lovely lady that she is, offered some profound advice. "We don't have to befriend everyone who wants to befriend us" and "Your very clever Cock-bug may make a very clever Cock-bug family, and do you want a family of clever Cock-bugs living with you?"

    Oh dear Oh dear.... she is always right.

    Well, I didnt think this way or that way or anyway about it. I just went for a run in the park in the dark and tried not to run into any trees .... then back home to ride exercise bike. I jumped on the seat and right there, right fucking there he was staring at me on the wall! He stared at me as if I had startled him! And that's when I lost it.. Dolly lost it.... I didnt think at all, I just let instinct lead and grab the poison spray and hose him down. He walked away, as he always did, but this time with a drugged sway.

    Oh dear Oh dear I knew I had hit him I felt sad, so sad

    He walked slowly away, I dont know where, and here I am eating my Saffron-bean soup and not a peep from Cock-bug. He is nowhere, not running after my food, not playing hide & seek, not smelling my perfume bottles, not watching me exercise.

    I feel horrible, truely horrible. I killed a very clever playful Cock-bug. Will God ever forgive me?
    Last edited by DollyDarling; 16-04-09 at 09:33.

  2. #2
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    Default He kinda Looked Like This


  3. #3
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    You really are a daft bint Dotty but very likable.
    Your remorse is punishment enough for you, that & a visit to Ireland to suck my cock. When this is performed I will have a word with the big guy & have your soul cleansed.
    I have the inside track with him.
    When I'm the Minister for Revenge Bertie's ring will be twitching !
    TheNads.

  4. #4
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    Default Dollys going down.....

    Dolly Darling aka.. the manhattan bug butcher.. is going down for her sins....




  5. #5
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    Default Fact: The cockroach can live without its head for an entire week.

    Quote Originally Posted by DollyDarling View Post
    I think he may be lying low working out his revenge tactics, cockroach can live for a week without a head only after that time can you feel truely safe

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    elle x
    Last edited by Alana; 16-04-09 at 09:53. Reason: missed out the roach after cock better give em the respect they deserve:-)

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by DollyDarling View Post
    Oh dear Oh dear...


    He walked slowly away, I dont know where, and here I am eating my Saffron-bean soup and not a peep from Cock-bug. He is nowhere, not running after my food, not playing hide & seek, not smelling my perfume bottles, not watching me exercise.

    I feel horrible, truely horrible. I killed a very clever playful Cock-bug. Will God ever forgive me?

    Maybe, he was walking slowly because he was just after giving mrs cockbug a good shagging and was feeling a little sore. He may be back, and bring his family with him.

  7. #7
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    Smile Bugs

    In my case it's always mosquitoes which test the depths of my commitment to nonviolence towards my fellow creatures.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elle of Edinburgh View Post
    I think he may be lying low working out his revenge tactics, cockroach can live for a week without a head only after that time can you feel truely safe

    Click image for larger version. 

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    elle x
    Good job punters canít live that long without head or us escorts would be in a serious fiscal bind

  9. #9
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    Default I just saw Cock-bug crawl up the wall!

    Oh my god, ye all were right! It was about 3 days I didnt see Cock-bug, and now tonight, he just crawled up the wall! I may go get the poison spray again and soak the bugger fucker .... OH BUT THE GUILT THE HORRIBLE GUILT

    *Pause, Breathe, Think clearly......*

    Ok so...

    Took a plastic pitcher and Goji Berry brochure and walked nonchalantly towards him, and he was sitting still staring at me, so I managed to cup the pitcher over him and trap it with Goji Berry informative brochure, but Cock-bug went ballistic and made a run to get out, so I made a freaked-out run too, looking fast in all directions - too far to the window, too heavy a window to open fast, but the exit door to the apartment was near and easy to swing open, so thats where I ran to, swung the door open, out to the hallway of the apartment building, and threw him down the stairs towards the floor below. Cock-bug used those ugly wings of his to lift off, and he landed on the hallway wall. I made a dash for my apartment door again and slammed it shut behind me.

    OK, so hopefully now I'm safe in the apartment. I keep looking at the door, will he crawl under? If he does, the poison will get him. I gave him a chance for life this time, but next time, he won't be so lucky
    Last edited by DollyDarling; 18-04-09 at 06:24.

  10. #10
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    Default You see this is why i need a boyfriend!

    Boyfriends are really handy for killing nasty varmints in the home

    A boyfriend would just get the job done. Would sort out the bugger fuckers in a flash. I could eat my Saffron Bean soup without any Cock-bugs chasing after me. I really miss those days when I had a boyfriend and he would smash bugs for me
    Last edited by DollyDarling; 18-04-09 at 06:32.

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