Press Release: Product Launch - Dollycum

[RicFlair]

BOTTLED DOLLYCUM RELEASED WORLDWIDE
The Day of the Pine Fresh Butt Plug Is Over


New York City, NY - Just in time for the St. Patrick's Day festival comes the worldwide simultaneous release of a new pheromone stimulator guaranteed to put the "GAAAAAHHH!" back into your orgasm.

Harvested from the quim of that world-famous squirtaholic Dolly Darling and bottled at source, this amazing tonic is used for a wide variety of day-to-day tasks; from scouring industrial ovens to repairing split ends. Carefully extracted by trained technicians wearing the latest in wetsuit protection that includes a full-face diving helmet and a miner's lamp, bottled Dollycum is now available to the public in a stylish, attractive bottle.



Celebrities have been queueing up to endorse this new product.
"Gave me an extra two inches, and by Christ do I need them..." - Tom Cruise
"Me too!" - Bono
"Drink! Arse! Feck! Dollycum!" - Father Jack
"My butt-plugs are royally fucked now..." - Carlos Marvado
"Quit yo jibba-jabba! Git sum Dollycum!" - Mr. T
"I hate that bitch. She can cum buckets and she's prettier than me." - Brad Pitt

Dollycum is organic, fat-free, protein-rich, rust-proof, free from artificial colours and preservatives, low-calorie, and does not require refrigeration. Spray on your cock and balls for that extra sensitive wank, or discreetly spray near your female partner to have her suddenly vocalise her desire for threesomes. Stimulate pheromones and more today with new Dollycum!



Dollycum is a trademark belonging to Dolly Darling. All rights reserved. Favourite football team - Spurting Lesbian.

Mousey its been ages and it STILL hasn't hit the shops!!!

When is it available? Or do I have to order it from the source?

[Mousey]

We're a bit behind in the harvest. One of our most experienced Dollycum technicians accidentally farted inside his airtight suit and we're still wondering how to fix the problem.

[RicFlair]

We're a bit behind in the harvest. One of our most experienced Dollycum technicians accidentally farted inside his airtight suit and we're still wondering how to fix the problem.

Mousey its come to my attention that your competition has started terminating your staff!!!

[Mousey]

That'll be Marvado luring them to their doom with cheese-scented pine fresh butt plugs!

[RicFlair]

I think Mari is getting them stoned too Mousey.

Looks like you've major Union problems.

[Mousey]

I'm only after finding this in my office.

[DollyDarling]

Mousey its been ages and it STILL hasn't hit the shops!!!

When is it available? Or do I have to order it from the source?

Because of the exceptional high quality of DollyCum, and we have taken no short cuts to give you the best possible and purist form of DollyCum, Dolly has shacked up on top of a very high mountain top to breathe in the fresh mountain air, eat wild Mountain Thyme, Heather, Wild Mushrooms & Carrots, and fresh mountain spring water. DollyCum is as fresh as ever, all organic and full of vitamins and minerals. DollyCum now must be brought down the mountain by donkey and cart, this is why the delay in getting DollyCum on your supermarket shelves.

No worries tho, Dolly is in the process of cloning herself, and plans to place a Dolly on every high mountain throughout USA, Canada, & Europe. Never fear, DollyCum is Near Here