Just so to answer you and just for everyone else to read.

Your right i was a very bad mod,terrible and your right i did throw a tantrum.Defo and i hold my hand up and say that i did.Yep i agree i probably made a complete arse of myself and yep ppl laughed at my insanity because it was just that.I was lucky to be able to type let alone think but i wouldnt change it for the world,not for one bit.

You know for the last three years on and off ,i have battled drugs left ,right and centre.Even with several ppl telling me otherwise i continued on thinking i was fine.You would never think it by talking with me or hanging with me but in my own private times you would.

The turning point for me was about as forthnight ago when a guy i knew died of a drug overdose.I hate drugs ,hate what they do to ppl and the saddest part of it all was i hated me.I took alot but i turned a cornor and did what i needed to do.Its no fun when you look in the mirror and say to yourself "i dont fuckin like you".

For the very first time in my life i am scared because i am on my very last chance.If i fuck up one more time ,im not living another day of it.Its a cunt when you think you have something knocked and before you know it ,it jumps back on you again.

What makes me think i can do it this time is a very speicial woman that came into my life.For the first time in a long time i actually feel like someone loves me for me,not for anything but the guy inside me,deep inside me thats hidden by all the exterior.

Anyway whether you hate me or not wish me luck ,i need all of it that i can get.For anyone who uses and thinks that are fine,stop,do yourself a favour and stop straight away before its too late.

Oh and i want to say a very big thank you to one girl who pmd me and asked me was i alright.

Anna Savicha ,thank you love.I wasnt alright but thanks for the thought of asking me.It was decent out of you to ask so thanks again.I hope everything works out for you.