Them Galway Guys
A Galway man was staggering home one night with a small bottle of Powers Whiskey in his back pocket when the eejit
slipped and fell heavily. Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg.
"Please, God," he implored, "let it be blood!"
AbidingPond (15-06-16), LuckyLu (15-06-16), tom sand (15-06-16)
Two Galway chaps had been out shacking up with their women. One felt guilty and decided he should stop at the church and confess.
He went into the confession booth and told the Father, "Father, I have sinned. I have committed fornication with a lady. Please forgive me."
The Father said, "Tell me who the lady was."
The lad said he couldn't do that and the Father said he couldn't grant him forgiveness unless he did.
"Was it Mary Harney?" asked the Father."
"No."
"Was it Joan Burton?"
"No."
"Was it yan doll Mary Lou?"
"No."
"Well then," said the Father, "You'll not be forgiven."
When the lad met his friend outside the friend asked, "So, did you find forgiveness."
"No," said the other, "but I picked up three good prospects!"
A man walking through a field in Galway sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand.
He shouts "Ná deoch an t-uisce, tá sé iomlán na cowshit". (Don't drink the water, it's full of cowshit.)
The man shouts back "I'm English, speak English, I don't understand you".
The Galway man replies "Use both hands, you'll get more in."
alcatel (15-06-16), hadaway (15-06-16), LuckyLu (15-06-16), redforever (15-06-16), tom sand (15-06-16)
An Englishman and a Galwayman got chatting in a pub one night and the Englishman grinned and said come closer lad, come closer .. 'What's the best thing that ever happened between England and Ireland' ? he asked
The Irish Sea! replied the Galwayman
AbidingPond (15-06-16), alcatel (15-06-16), LuckyLu (15-06-16), philipkntz (16-06-16), willie wacker (15-06-16)
Tim Shandy stepped into the Warm Spoon, a popular Galway pub.
To Mike Callahan, the barkeep, Shandy said "Mike, I'll have three whiskeys."
Callahan set up three glasses and began to pour. "That's not your usual Tim. Celebratin' something are you?"
"Ah, ye know me too well, Micheal. Truth is I'm celebrating my first blow job”.
Callahan laughed and put a fourth glass on the bar."Now, that's special," he said. "here's a fourth on the house”.
"Shandy shook his head, and replied "'Tis very kind of ye, Micheal, but I'm thinkin' if three won't get rid of the taste, four won't either."
Barney Rubble (15-06-16), LuckyLu (15-06-16), MidlifeCrisis (15-06-16)
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Doctor walks up to Galway woman in the maternity ward and asks, "tell me mam, are you dilated?"......"dilated??........I'm over the feckin moon boss"
AbidingPond (15-06-16)
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Feck these jokes- whar about the Galway Races - I'm thinking of going so what are the considerations- accommodation, drink craic women etc!!
Last edited by Clueless; 15-06-16 at 22:57.
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Seeing as I'm not clueless, I'd consider addressing these questions to Willie Wacker.Originally Posted by Clueless
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Shalom/salaam.
10,000 years of Middle Eastern civilisation and the place is not at peace but rather in pieces.
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I presume Willie Wacker lives in Galway and doesn't have to worry about accommodation etc- but I am sure he will be along in a minute to tell all!!
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All the nice people who commented on here are bared
" WE ARE CONNACHT "
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