I sort of know what you mean. When I plan a visit to an escort, penetrative sex is practically the last thing on my mind. Domination is very last though. Personally, when I fantasize about it, I prefer to cum on a ladies boobs. Nice safe sex with very little chance of my swimmers hitting their target.
I've visited escorts and not had intercourse several times, been too busy fooling around. For me sometimes sex seems like a step too far, especially if the escort is much younger than me, I feel that if I go as far as sex I might feel guilty afterwards. Though on other appointments, it just feels right and I know that sex is inevitable as soon as the door is opened.
Since last Christmas, 2 of the youngest escorts that I visited, insisted on asking why I did not want to have sex with them (different appointments). One was quite happy with my answer and admitted that if there wasn't money involved, that I'd never make it to her bedroom. The other, who I was visiting for the second time in a week, changed the condom I was wearing with her mouth, then jammed herself down on me reverse cowgirl style, saying "try this and if you tell me you don't like it, I'll stop" and that was a lady that has fake verified photos, and several 5 star reviews that don't mention the fake pics. I guess they all want to go back for more.
If the Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know it's Me.