An outcall, naturally.
Yeah come on now.
They say females are meant to be all nurturing and shit when guys are in distress.
Let's see if you got some true kind hearted femininity in you, and aren't all just cash grabbers to the last.
I am, how you say, totally smashed.
Fractured right hand, sprained ligaments in my left thumb, and a torn collateral ligament in my left knee.
On top of that, I have come down with the worst damn cold I've had in years.
Sneezing like I've been pepper sprayed, head is pounding, confined to bed.
What I need is a nice gentle touch; someone to fix me a nourishing bowl of chicken soup, a glass of ice cool water, and lay a nice cool cloth across my forehead.
And if you wanted to smoke my lengthy hog as additional pain relief, that would be swell.
Thanks so much.
I know one of you will reach out in this time of need.
PS - I'm running a little low on cash just now.
I'm sure we can work something out, but I'm sure knowing you're doing a decent man a good turn, will be payment in plenty.