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Thread: Taking a risk - help me ladies

  1. #1
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    Default Taking a risk - help me ladies

    Life has been very hectic of late and posed me many challenges both in my home life, my health and those around me and in my work but am beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel.

    Recently my wife and I had an animated discussion about our non existent sex life. We still sleep in the same bed but for more than half our married life have not had sex, in fact the last time was over ten years ago. It only bothers her if she thinks I am getting it elsewhere but she does not regard it as important. Its for procreation and that's it.

    I have a wide circle of friends, none of whom know of my involvement with the ladies I meet here, and that circle includes several ladies whom I find attractive and I think some of them have a notion for me too. Some are married, not many, most are single and they range in age from half my age to older than me.

    I think I am friendly, gregarious and able to talk to anyone about any topic and have them feel comfortable in my company.

    My point is, and here's where I need advice, should I grab the bull by the horns and just tell some of these female friends that I would like to take them to bed if they were open to some NSA fun. How would some of you ladies respond if you were presented with this question and what would be the best words to use.

    My thoughts are to meet them for coffee and just get to the point at some stage and just say it if the vibes were right.

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  3. #2
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    I would stay well away. These 'no strings attached' things rarely work out and usually end with one or both parties falling in love. Then there is the fact that if at any point you decide to stop it, she may not like that and could turn into a bunny boiler and knows enough about you to hit you where it hurts and leave your family life vulnerable and there is also the fact that your wife could find out another way and quite happily divorce you as you are no longer important (had the kids) and she can have your money for adultery.

    There is also the fact that if your 'no strings attached' lady friend finds out that you are seeing sex workers, she may feel that is you cheating on her and that could be another big problem, plus if you start having unprotected sex with a 'no strings attached' lady friend, you never know for sure if she is being exclusive and what risks you are taking with STI's.

    There is also the fact that they may not be too keen on the idea when you run it past them and decide to gossip about it and then you get all the aggro without even having got a kiss.

    I'm actually surprised after all these years of playing it safe with sex workers you would think this is a safe and viable option.

    I'm not disputing your ability to find or have a 'no strings attached' friendship by the way, just that it's really not a wise decision.

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  5. #3
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    Life is to short not to live it happier.

    I/we made a decision many years ago to call it quits on our relationship as we were just not happy and ended up hating each other. It's a big brave move.

    So my advise is get away from the bull you have before grabbing any horns
    Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

  6. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bogman View Post
    should I grab the bull by the horns and just tell some of these female friends that I would like to take them to bed if they were open to some NSA fun.
    Be prepared for rejection IMHO.....

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  8. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bogman View Post
    Life has been very hectic of late and posed me many challenges both in my home life, my health and those around me and in my work but am beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel.

    Recently my wife and I had an animated discussion about our non existent sex life. We still sleep in the same bed but for more than half our married life have not had sex, in fact the last time was over ten years ago. It only bothers her if she thinks I am getting it elsewhere but she does not regard it as important. Its for procreation and that's it.

    I have a wide circle of friends, none of whom know of my involvement with the ladies I meet here, and that circle includes several ladies whom I find attractive and I think some of them have a notion for me too. Some are married, not many, most are single and they range in age from half my age to older than me.

    I think I am friendly, gregarious and able to talk to anyone about any topic and have them feel comfortable in my company.

    My point is, and here's where I need advice, should I grab the bull by the horns and just tell some of these female friends that I would like to take them to bed if they were open to some NSA fun. How would some of you ladies respond if you were presented with this question and what would be the best words to use.

    My thoughts are to meet them for coffee and just get to the point at some stage and just say it if the vibes were right.
    Go for it...................Ive nothing to lose

  9. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bogman View Post
    Life has been very hectic of late and posed me many challenges both in my home life, my health and those around me and in my work but am beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel.

    Recently my wife and I had an animated discussion about our non existent sex life. We still sleep in the same bed but for more than half our married life have not had sex, in fact the last time was over ten years ago. It only bothers her if she thinks I am getting it elsewhere but she does not regard it as important. Its for procreation and that's it.

    I have a wide circle of friends, none of whom know of my involvement with the ladies I meet here, and that circle includes several ladies whom I find attractive and I think some of them have a notion for me too. Some are married, not many, most are single and they range in age from half my age to older than me.

    I think I am friendly, gregarious and able to talk to anyone about any topic and have them feel comfortable in my company.

    My point is, and here's where I need advice, should I grab the bull by the horns and just tell some of these female friends that I would like to take them to bed if they were open to some NSA fun. How would some of you ladies respond if you were presented with this question and what would be the best words to use.

    My thoughts are to meet them for coffee and just get to the point at some stage and just say it if the vibes were right.

    Fucking hell she sounds insane. Have you had her tested?

  10. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bogman View Post
    Life has been very hectic of late and posed me many challenges both in my home life, my health and those around me and in my work but am beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel.

    Recently my wife and I had an animated discussion about our non existent sex life. We still sleep in the same bed but for more than half our married life have not had sex, in fact the last time was over ten years ago. It only bothers her if she thinks I am getting it elsewhere but she does not regard it as important. Its for procreation and that's it.

    I have a wide circle of friends, none of whom know of my involvement with the ladies I meet here, and that circle includes several ladies whom I find attractive and I think some of them have a notion for me too. Some are married, not many, most are single and they range in age from half my age to older than me.

    I think I am friendly, gregarious and able to talk to anyone about any topic and have them feel comfortable in my company.

    My point is, and here's where I need advice, should I grab the bull by the horns and just tell some of these female friends that I would like to take them to bed if they were open to some NSA fun. How would some of you ladies respond if you were presented with this question and what would be the best words to use.

    My thoughts are to meet them for coffee and just get to the point at some stage and just say it if the vibes were right.
    Ya I had a fuck buddy for a while once, well me and my friend had her every second night and it worked out fine.
    We all went our ways later and are still friends. But here,s the crux none of us were married.
    It might work but both parties need be able to keep the love out of it or it will get very messy/
    Also if she is a friend of your wife then forget about as it will go back to her
    Last edited by willie wacker; 16-11-15 at 21:51.


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  12. #8
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    This seems a strange question to me. You don't give many clues about what you think of your marriage, or what your motivation would be for taking this risk.

    If you want to stay married, an affair is a huge risk, much more complicated and risky than seeing escorts, and I think you should only consider it if you are earnestly looking for a romantic relationship. The strange thing to me is that you speak as if there are a number of candidates - I think most affairs begin when you really fall for one person, or at least click with them. I think many women would be less than impressed if they are propositioned without some sense that they are the special person in your life.

    Maybe you are clearer in your own mind than you described, but if not I would do some serious thinking about what you want, and how it might happen, before making any moves. Good luck - from what you say it sounds as if you are due some better luck.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SophieX View Post
    Be prepared for rejection IMHO.....
    I'm cheeks hurt at the moment
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  16. #10
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    Never take advice on what could be life changing decisions like these, from people whose name isn't on your mortgage deeds or childrens birth certs

    (If you insist........ensure everyone involved are tee totallers .........and have just as much to lose)

    #tooclosetohome
    Last edited by xagerate; 16-11-15 at 22:37.

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