Knowing who your friends are

[Walshie]

Your very lucky.

yeah I know but I would do anything for them as well, most I was at Primary school with
I didnt know Amy was ill but she seems better now...Good

[casman]

I'm sorry to hear about the tough time your going through at the moment and i wish you a speedy recovery.

But as for having friends in this business it's delusional,as many a escort has told me and it's very funny how a lot on here think they have made life long friends.It's a fantasy.

I have the best of friends,who would be there for me at any turn,we have been friends since i made my communion with them and we have been through everything together since then.

But it's very true Amy,you really do see who your real friends are when your going through the tough times.

Mind yourself xxx

[alcatel]

Chin up, as they say.
I have met you twice(probably might have met you more but we spend most of our time on different sides of the country) and both times found you very friendly, pleasant, involved and well able to give good advice.
Hope you are recovering well and that you have or soon will have that injury put well behind you.

[MidlifeCrisis]

Firstly, I am sorry that you have had such a tough time. I had noticed you as one of the friendly, positive posters and was sorry to hear the news. If we had met, I am actually one of the ones who would have sent you a message.

It is obviously a unique world we inhabit, where pretence is part of the transaction, and as a result you never know with certainty whether there is any reality in apparent friendship that develops between an escort and a regular. Many on here say it is always 100% fake, and many of those are the more experienced clients. I choose to give escorts more credit than that - as long as no one gets delusional about any romantic interests, I think there is room for a type of genuine friendship, in which you both care about troubles in each other's real lives. If I did not believe that, I think I would be gone - in any aspect of life I cannot be bothered dealing with people I don't like, or who I think don't like me.

I have been disappointed at the amount of distrust and hostility I have seen in some cases between escorts. I know there are exceptions, and am always pleased to hear stories of girls helping each other out. I understand that they are in competition with each other, but it seems to me that there is so much to be gained by friendships and cooperation in the tricky world you live in, and so much to lose by in-fighting.

I hope your message reminds a few people to lift the phone to you, and others in difficulty.

[annabel taylor]

Maybe that's just a case of me reaping what i had sown, as I admit, I am far from being a social butterfly type of person.

However, I can't stop thinking that in my time of troubles, most people are not anywhere to be seen around me. Very, very few exceptions.

So, before I start giving out here it's an oportunity of saying thank you to the few people that still stayed in touch, came and see how I am doing or sometimes even helped. Some of them may think it's not a big deal, but for me, going trough a tough time, working with an injured knee to be able to pay my bills but still going to college, even that lift offer to college or that big case of cat food helped a lot. Or booking in for a massage, also quite nice, since even some of my regulars avoided seeing me in that time, under the assumptions maybe I can't really do a proper massage with a bad knee

Don't get me wrong, I am not expecting anybody to treat me like I'm a charity case, but going to the total opposite directions and make it obvious I'm someone they avoid until (I assume) I'm all better does not show too much consideration at all. Even posting here, I feel mostly left alone and while this doesn't bother me, I am thinking what the heck have those people heard about me that they seem to take distance. My PMs lately, seem to be from people who either ask when I'm coming back to escorting, either have no clue I am not doing escorting at the moment. I had Part Time Student at some stage on my massage profile, I got so far 0 PMs from people I know and used to talk regularly asking me what kind of course I am doing.

I get it, I kept people at arm lenght and this is coming back to me. I can't even say that makes, me sad, in fact I enjoy having more time for myself. But still, the logic behind it's rather interesting and - excuse the long intro - brings me back to the point of this thread.

Have you ever felt that in times of need there are less people around you ? If so, what do you think it's the reason ? People avoiding seeing someone upset as they can't handle it ? Or do you think the reason is a lot more egotistic, like being afraid of being asked for a favour? Or maybe you are the exception to the rule and in times of trouble you got even more support from people you know ? I'd love to hear your experiences. Answers on a post card please :)

P.S.I'm a lot better at the moment, both financially and health wise. Can't wait to hear from my friens

I'm very sorry to read this amy...

But however bad your shit is now others face worse, some people have so much sickness and death on there door steps they become selfish in your eyes in order to cope u have to be strong for everyone sometimes an extra person too much too carry doesn't mean they don't care just means there not able to support u now

I've family dying right now my head my heart is with them and outside of that I just work nd blow steam off here
I loose contact with people but it's just how u cope

Does not mean u do not care.. maybe u can drop a line to someone also.. horrible shit lands on many a doorstep

[Curvaceous Kate]

When I was growing up and a teenager I was surrounded by friends and people that would take care of me without me even realising. Then I got married and things changed, as he didn't want me to have any friends. When I got out of that situation the friends that had been there for me as a teenager embraced me back into their lives and I love them all still today, even the ones that are no longer alive.

Because I had been lucky enough to live in this bubble of love, care and kindness I was not prepared for how it would be when I became a sex worker. I treated everyone with the same love, care and kindness I was used to and I thought was normal, but time and time again it was not reciprocated and people took what they wanted and left me behind generally with my mouth open wondering what the hell had just happened.

Over time I have learned that what I had was incredibly special and I am incredibly lucky to have had that nurturing friendship as a youth, but there are people like that here, they just tend to take more time to make themselves known and once you have found those people, then you are never alone and you never have to feel alone.

I get some random pm's off people here (both Escort and client) asking for help or advice and I willingly and happily give it knowing I will likely get nothing in return, but otherwise I now live in a bit of a bubble and keep myself to myself, so I'm afraid I wouldn't compute if someone needed help unless they asked for it, as I'm out there in the land of Kate living my life and keeping hold of what matters to me these days. Life is too short not to learn from experience and this is what works for me.

When I'm not happy I tend to go into myself and I don't want to talk to anyone. I do the cleansing thing that Cassandra spoke of and when I'm ready to get back to life, I am more determined and more focused than ever and will feel much stronger and happier. That's the way I repair myself mentally. The few people that know me do ask me if I'm ok and that is all I need to know I'm not alone and yes it does make a difference, but you only really need one person for that.

I hope this thread means you are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel Amy and if you ever do need to talk to another human being, you might not get much sense, but you are always welcome x

[Amy Alison]

Take it on the chin I do. I'm sorry you business has been hurt but punter friends?

I never tell anybody my problems. I have a load of friends but my business is my business.

Maybe that's why I vent on here & other places because in the real word I'm a rock and nothing bothers me!

Anyway my best friend is dead.

He would have told me to get a grip kid and shut up, have another drink buddy.

I do have a very few punter friends. Some I don't see as clients anymore, some I do. If people are compatible the escort / punter classification is not a big deal.
It's more difficult if I wanted a real boyfriend who was also my client, that I wouldn't do.

I have just read all the comments on this thread.

Great minds like?!

You know what? I have one little pal that gives me a ring every second day to make sure I'm still alive! I think I appreciate him now more.

Thank you Amy.

Great, moment of clarity achieved do thank him !

I like you I think your a very nice woman.
I totally get your post as I had a similar thing 6 months ago.
If I had a euro for every big favour I did for friends I would never have to work again that's not including the small favours.
I have had problems like everybody I suppose but 6 months ago a problem occurred that people actually could have helped me with but did they ? Did they fuck !
The phone stopped ringing....... One friend even invented an argument and then tried to crawl back when I had things sorted.

Good luck

Sorry to hear about your bad experiences.Great you learned how to cope with it too and get past it

Thankfully I have loads of good friends, friends that would do anything for you in my times of weirdness and want nothing in return

Again, one of the lucky ones

I'm sorry to hear about the tough time your going through at the moment and i wish you a speedy recovery.

But as for having friends in this business it's delusional,as many a escort has told me and it's very funny how a lot on here think they have made life long friends.It's a fantasy.

I have the best of friends,who would be there for me at any turn,we have been friends since i made my communion with them and we have been through everything together since then.

But it's very true Amy,you really do see who your real friends are when your going through the tough times.

There are all sorts of friends, not just one category:

"Must friend: a best friend, a member of your inner circle, a person you count on when something big happens in your life
Trust friend: a friend who shows integrity, someone you feel comfortable with, that you’re always glad to see, but not in your inmost circle; perhaps someone you’d like to be closer to, if you had the time or opportunity
Rust friend: a person you’ve known for a long, long time; you’re probably not going to get any closer to that person, unless something changes, but a part of your life
Just friends: a person you see — at a weekly poker game, at your child’s school — who is enjoyable company, but you have no desire to socialize outside a specific context or to get to know that person better"

We are not talking here about soul mates There are categories and categories based on the level of comfort and interaction. I haven't gone into details as clearly the thread seems to be all about me now while, despite the long intro I was curious to see other people experiences in order to come to perhaps a cheap psychological conclusion

Chin up, as they say.
I have met you twice(probably might have met you more but we spend most of our time on different sides of the country) and both times found you very friendly, pleasant, involved and well able to give good advice.
Hope you are recovering well and that you have or soon will have that injury put well behind you.

Thank you kindly Yeap, I'm past the worst stage and happy about it.

It is obviously a unique world we inhabit, where pretence is part of the transaction, and as a result you never know with certainty whether there is any reality in apparent friendship that develops between an escort and a regular. Many on here say it is always 100% fake, and many of those are the more experienced clients. I choose to give escorts more credit than that - as long as no one gets delusional about any romantic interests, I think there is room for a type of genuine friendship, in which you both care about troubles in each other's real lives. If I did not believe that, I think I would be gone - in any aspect of life I cannot be bothered dealing with people I don't like, or who I think don't like me.

I have been disappointed at the amount of distrust and hostility I have seen in some cases between escorts. I know there are exceptions, and am always pleased to hear stories of girls helping each other out. I understand that they are in competition with each other, but it seems to me that there is so much to be gained by friendships and cooperation in the tricky world you live in, and so much to lose by in-fighting.

I hope your message reminds a few people to lift the phone to you, and others in difficulty.

Yes, there is competition between some escorts but also it's lots of help and cooperation. Which always makes me happy to see.
And again, some of those friendships, doesn't matter if escort or punter are as real as anywhere else.

I'm very sorry to read this amy...

But however bad your shit is now others face worse, some people have so much sickness and death on there door steps they become selfish in your eyes in order to cope u have to be strong for everyone sometimes an extra person too much too carry doesn't mean they don't care just means there not able to support u now

I've family dying right now my head my heart is with them and outside of that I just work nd blow steam off here
I loose contact with people but it's just how u cope

Does not mean u do not care.. maybe u can drop a line to someone also.. horrible shit lands on many a doorstep

Goodness, babe, I was not accussing anybody of anything. I am really sorry to hear what you go trough and from what I remember, you seem to be so often hit with family tragedies, that's awful and quite a burden for your pool mind and if I could help in any way I could Sadly, you demonstrate another point I was trying to make, some people don't show too much care because they have too much on their own plate, so it's not always a simple case of someone forgetting you. Good point and I'll use that too for my final conclusion.

When I was growing up and a teenager I was surrounded by friends and people that would take care of me without me even realising. Then I got married and things changed, as he didn't want me to have any friends. When I got out of that situation the friends that had been there for me as a teenager embraced me back into their lives and I love them all still today, even the ones that are no longer alive.

Because I had been lucky enough to live in this bubble of love, care and kindness I was not prepared for how it would be when I became a sex worker. I treated everyone with the same love, care and kindness I was used to and I thought was normal, but time and time again it was not reciprocated and people took what they wanted and left me behind generally with my mouth open wondering what the hell had just happened.

Over time I have learned that what I had was incredibly special and I am incredibly lucky to have had that nurturing friendship as a youth, but there are people like that here, they just tend to take more time to make themselves known and once you have found those people, then you are never alone and you never have to feel alone.

I get some random pm's off people here (both Escort and client) asking for help or advice and I willingly and happily give it knowing I will likely get nothing in return, but otherwise I now live in a bit of a bubble and keep myself to myself, so I'm afraid I wouldn't compute if someone needed help unless they asked for it, as I'm out there in the land of Kate living my life and keeping hold of what matters to me these days. Life is too short not to learn from experience and this is what works for me.


I hope this thread means you are seeing the light at the end of the tunnel Amy and if you ever do need to talk to another human being, you might not get much sense, but you are always welcome x

Trial and error. Coming into this world with so much love, love being reciprocated and one day all this could be gone. Sad, but as a survivor you learn to cope.Might get a few times in an embarrassing situation where you show love to someone and they use it to wipe their noses with but eventually you fine tune to get around you like minded people that you could show your true nature. That's great really.

[Amy Alison]

Final conclusion

This thread is way too lenghtly (its posts at least) and too serious for an escorting site.
I wanted to get a few opinions just to draw some final conclusions, which are:

Do not dwell on anything ,rely mostly on yourself as far as you can and try to show support to others in time of need because it’s the human thing to do and karma is a bitch too

If someone is a friend and can help, he/she will.

If someone is a friend but it’s not able to help, he may be also in his own his/her personal hell, so don’t judge before knowing.

If someone just pretended to be a friend, why care about them anymore, be happy at least you know who they are now

So thank you for your input, sorry I had to go trough some negative things in this thread in order to arrive at the positive stuff.
That is my own version of a good morning thread. Life is good even when it’s awfully bad, enjoy it and don’t sweat the small things.

Good morning Let everybody have a happy and prosperous day

[robbie9]

why people take humans so seriously , seriously i know your work involves meeting humans but come on , that;s all the are.

Best Regards

[Amy Alison]

why people take humans so seriously , seriously i know your work involves meeting humans but come on , that;s all the are.

Best Regards

Well, last time I checked I was human and "people" too

But if there is any consolation, I tend to take cats more seriously