Results 1 to 3 of 3

Thread: WEEKEND HUMOUR from TIFF

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    5,798
    Blog Entries
    109

    Default WEEKEND HUMOUR from TIFF

    DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

    40-ish - 49
    Adventurous - Slept with everyone
    Athletic - No tits
    Average looking - Ugly
    Beautiful - Pathological liar
    Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
    Emotionally secure - On medication
    Feminist - Fat
    Free spirit - Junkie
    Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
    Fun - Annoying
    New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
    Open-minded - Desperate
    Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
    Passionate - Sloppy drunk
    Professional - Bitch
    Voluptuous - Very Fat
    Large frame - Hugely Fat
    Wants Soul mate - Stalker

    WOMEN'S ENGLISH

    1. Yes = No
    2. No = Yes
    3. Maybe = No
    4. We need = I want
    5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
    6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
    7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
    8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
    9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!

    10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

    MEN'S ENGLISH

    1. I am hungry = I am hungry
    2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
    3. I am tired = I am tired
    4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
    5. I love you = let's have sex now
    6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
    7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
    8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
    9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
    10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
    11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

    And finally.....

    A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
    For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
    However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

    NOW SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND A WOMAN WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR!!!
    Last edited by TiffanyTees; 25-01-09 at 00:02.

    " Tiffany Tees "
    Strangers are friends I have yet to meet.





  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Posts
    5,608
    Blog Entries
    1
    Reviews
    95

    Default not alone

    Quote Originally Posted by TiffanyTees View Post
    DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

    40-ish - 49
    Adventurous - Slept with everyone
    Athletic - No tits
    Average looking - Ugly
    Beautiful - Pathological liar
    Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
    Emotionally secure - On medication
    Feminist - Fat
    Free spirit - Junkie
    Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
    Fun - Annoying
    New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
    Open-minded - Desperate
    Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
    Passionate - Sloppy drunk
    Professional - Bitch
    Voluptuous - Very Fat
    Large frame - Hugely Fat
    Wants Soul mate - Stalker

    WOMEN'S ENGLISH

    1. Yes = No
    2. No = Yes
    3. Maybe = No
    4. We need = I want
    5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
    6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
    7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
    8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
    9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!

    10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

    MEN'S ENGLISH

    1. I am hungry = I am hungry
    2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
    3. I am tired = I am tired
    4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
    5. I love you = let's have sex now
    6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
    7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
    8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
    9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
    10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
    11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

    And finally.....

    A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
    For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
    However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

    NOW SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND A WOMAN WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR!!!
    Not alone funny Tiff but true aswell

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Posts
    5,798
    Blog Entries
    109

    Thumbs up

    Quote Originally Posted by ber View Post
    not alone funny tiff but true aswell

    for some females ber hunny

    they have it stone

    now thats funny

    " Tiffany Tees "
    Strangers are friends I have yet to meet.





Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •