John raised his pint and toasted the lads in the bar " I'm going to spend the rest of my life in between my wife's legs ", to thunderous applause he was awarded the toast of the night prize.
John staggered home and told his wife, Mary, that he had won first prize in the toasting competition, " what did you say to win it ", she said, " I'm going to spend the rest of my life sitting beside my wife in church" he proclaimed.
" Thats lovely John" said Mary , and off to sleep she went.
A few days passed and she met one of Johns friends in the town, he says " did you hear about your John's great win the other night" trying to hold the snigger in and blushing at the same time.
" I did " says Mary, " but i don't know why he won for that, sure he's only been there twice in the last four years , the first occasion he fell asleep and the second time i had to grab him by the ears just to make him come " !!!!!