Escort World - The truth, my opinion and suicide

[godfather]

I think its nice you poured out your heart here. Sadly, alot of abuse is found on these discussion boards. I tell you what.... I love being an escort, and have no stress with it. Sure, you always have to "be on your toes" in regards to looking for the raised flags of possible trouble, but my stress level never has risen cause of escorting..... The only stress in my life is caused from these discussion boards. I never encountered so many mean, jealous, slanderous cyber bullies. And Im not picking on E-I, I'm talking about all escort websites. I dont know why there are so many bullies and stalkers and harrassers on the escort websites, but I would encourage all escorts (which many are already aware) to stay off of escort discussion boards. Yes, it is always a struggle for me, as I often use discussion boards to do creative writing and get my thoughts out and analyze things... but a few of you know (my friends) that I am determined to stop posting and be more under the radar.

Im sorry gemma that the real escorting world stressed you out. But in my experience, its not escorting that stresses and discourages and changes a person, but rather the discussion boards and harrassers online that we encounter.

I wish you well, whatever you do next. And if you decide to escort again, I wish you well with that too.

I do not think Gem poured her heart out. By the looks of the post she is telling everything how it is. She has apologized to everyone she done wrong on in public which could not of been easy for her. From what I remember Gem never admitted being wrong even when she clearly was. This is only the beginning for Gemma.

GF

[Mystery Escort]

Where to start??:

I started escorting because of the money. It seemed like a good idea at the time and an easy way of making money doing something I liked. My first client was nice and the service was fun so I went ahead and done up my rather bad profile that I have never up dated. Making €**** a day working times that suited me tuned out to be very addictive especially since it is so easy. I also have a receptionist to take calls which means I can have clients in 10 mins after the last (enough time to shower etc.) which cuts my working time in half. I do not know how busy escorts are able to work without a receptionist. I would be lost without mine. She is brilliant and keeps me organised because I am a unprofessional escort when it comes to time etc. However as time went on I started to notice my personality changing. I was not as bubbly as I normally was before I started working. I also did not care about people close to me the way I should have. If I did decide to continue escorting I would end up like many of the other escorts on this site. That is cold, heartless, bitter, depressed or on drugs or excessive amounts of alcohol. My whole life would be one big act full of lies. My normal life was also starting to be effected. The escort world was becoming my normal life. If I was foreign and did not have a normal life I could escort no problem.

As for my retirement, I was not retiring for the right reason. I was not retiring for me and I was not ready to retire.

Godfather:

You were correct about certain things you have said and commented on and believe me. I AM THE REAL GEMMA. Does the word "Joker" sound familiar? You now know i is really me. You were a client that I saw too often when I knew you were developing feelings for me. I should have refused to see you sooner then I did. You did not need to hire a PI to follow me to make sure I was safe. I have security for that. My personal life was also none of your business. I did not get involved in your personal life even after you hired someone to follow me and were giving out personal information about me. I do know the name of your huge company and could of easily tracked you down (using the net ironically) but decided not to. I feel sorry for your wife and do hope you can save your marriage.

Regular Clients:

Sorry I have not been answering your calls or texts for the past few weeks. I have been very busy lately. I do recommend and have already recommended to some of you become a regular of Irish Fiona because all of you liked me for my personality. Fiona is just as bubbly and friendly as me.

Clients:

No matter how much you tell yourself that what you are doing is ok and not cheating it is. Would you like your wife/partner/girlfriend going to see a male escort? I do not think so. Also for the clients that ask escorts to go on dates with them, escort and client relationships do not work and this is not only my opinion. New clients and first timers DO NOT START SEEING ESCORTS it is very addictive and it is just like an expensive wank no matter what escort you are with.

Escorts:

Thank you to all of the escorts that I was friends with. I really appreciate your friendships and advice. Thank you also to all the jealous, bitter, sly, two faced snakes. When I look at you I think I never want to end up like them. I am sorry to all the escorts I am friends with but I will be cutting full communication with the escort world.
Stay safe and trust no one, not even other escorts. Everyone is only out or themselves which I am sure you have all relised. Some are just more bitchy and bitter then others.

Regular people on this site:

Honestly you all need tot urn of your computers and get a life. I admit I used to spend a lot of time on this site and no that I do not be on as much I relise that there are better things to be doing then sitting on a computer. When I think of EI I think of middle aged men sitting on their computer with one eye on the computer and the other on the tv watching and waiting for something new to be said. Spend time with your family, go on a walk or get a hobby and not spend life seeing what is being said on this site.

Control:

This is for everyone that knows me and have talked to me. The guys I am talking about will know what I mean when I say "you were all right and I was wrong". Thank you for you honest opinions you all gave me even though I did not thank you all at the time.

Final Word:

To all new escorts NEVER start escorting unless you know 100% what you are getting yourself involved in. You are getting involved in a world full of drink, drugs and multiple sex partners that you will not always be attracted to. It is impossible to have a normal relationship no mater how hard you try to seperate the two worlds and you will also find your normal life suffering greatly. All of this takes a toll on your mental and physical health. Your health is more important then a couple of thousand a week.

I do still like escorting but I have seen a total different side to it which would get to me if I was working as an escort full time. I regret everything I have done and said since I started escorting. The money was not worth it and becoming slightly harder and hurting people that cared about me was not worth it. I am only getting the amount of clients I do get because I provide the service they want and because I am Irish. I am good at escorting because I only work when I was in the mood.

I am genuinely sorry to everyone I have hurt, lied to, deceived and betrayed. I have honestly learned my lesson and if I could turn back time I would.

I know people reading this will think I have lost the plot but I have not. When my profile goes down after my signature tour dates I will be gone. I know everyone is probably saying here we go again but this time I am ready to retire and doing it for the correct reason's. I do also know that this post will be my career suicide. It is the truth however and I finally have the balls to say it instead of sugar coating everything.

I do not care about what anyone in the escort world thinks of me or what anyone has to say about me. I am who I am hate it or love it I do not care.

NEW YEAR, NEW START, NEW LIFE.

I WILL NOT BE POSTING AGAIN UNLESS REQUIRED.

Gemma

Well done. Everything you have stated in your post is true. Well done for being brave enough to speak your mind and tell the truth.
I would also like to share my story.
I myself am an english young escort although older then you. I have seen many girls in this business destroy themselves. I however can not quit as simple as you. I have been escorting for two years. As a result I have a great lifestyle but can not hold a steady relationship. I too am living a lie. I lie to my friends, family and partners about what I work as. Many gilrs that I work with in the UK are on a drug of some sort when they are working. I do not work with girls when I come to Ireland because of the trouble that can be caused. I am terrified I will end up old and alone as a result of escorting. I agree that you do become cold and harder while working as an escort. I am living proof. Maybe Irish and English girls that are not on drugs lack the coldness and the robot services that the Eastern Europeans have. I also do not respect men the way I should.
What has finally pushed you to retire completely?
What will you do for a living now?
Will you not miss escorting?
Sorry for all of the questions, I am seeking advice so I can finally quit.

Mystery Escort

[sexybabehere]

Gemma I have read your post and I can see that it is well wrote and comes from the real you. We have had some issues in the past but this certainly shows me the honest and good side to you. I knew I was right about certain things I said but I was incorrect in telling you that you had no respect for yourself in the chat room previously. This post shows that you have nothing but respect for yourself. I am happy you have the courage to speak honestly and openly with the fact that the post will end your career for ever. Unfortunatly you have regrets but do not regret everything. You used to tell me everything happens for a reason and I agree it does. You are now leaving the escort world smarter and stronger. Why now and not any other time if you do not mind me asking?

GF

Because I am ready to quit and I am doing it for the correct reason's..

Gemma

[sexybabehere]

Thanks to everyone that rang, text and mailed me today. Sorry I was unable to get back to some of you..

Gemma

[sexybabehere]

Well done. Everything you have stated in your post is true. Well done for being brave enough to speak your mind and tell the truth.
I would also like to share my story.
I myself am an english young escort although older then you. I have seen many girls in this business destroy themselves. I however can not quit as simple as you. I have been escorting for two years. As a result I have a great lifestyle but can not hold a steady relationship. I too am living a lie. I lie to my friends, family and partners about what I work as. Many gilrs that I work with in the UK are on a drug of some sort when they are working. I do not work with girls when I come to Ireland because of the trouble that can be caused. I am terrified I will end up old and alone as a result of escorting. I agree that you do become cold and harder while working as an escort. I am living proof. Maybe Irish and English girls that are not on drugs lack the coldness and the robot services that the Eastern Europeans have. I also do not respect men the way I should.
What has finally pushed you to retire completely?
What will you do for a living now?
Will you not miss escorting?
Sorry for all of the questions, I am seeking advice so I can finally quit.

Mystery Escort

What has finally pushed me to retire is the fact that I have been hurt, I have hurt people that I cared about and I still am hurting people that I care about. I hate lying to everyone close to me. That is no life to live. I was also becoming cold which I had to put a stop to ASAP. I want to just have a plain ordinary life starting after Galway. Work in a normal job is what I will do for a living. Yes and No I will miss escorting. Yes I will miss the money and meeting new people and no I will not miss escorting because I will be getting on with my normal life. You just need some time to yourself to think what you really want and you will make the right decision. If you want a stable relationship you will not have one while you are an escort. It is not possible when you are still sleeping with other men even though you probably keep telling yourself it's just business.. It is not!

You can text me at any time if you would like to talk and I will call you because my phone does be on divert to my receptionist when I am busy.

Gemma

[Quarterpoundher]

A very thoughtful and poignant post Gemma. The best I’ve read. A lot of wisdom shown there and agree with everything you said. I know I called into question something with you a while back but I feel now that it was who I hoped it was and you will know what I mean by that. and best of luck for the future. I don’t feel you will need luck but it can’t hurt to have some.

You are right to get what you wanted from it and move on. What is displayed by some proves what it ‘can’ do over the long term, that is self evident and brave of you to state and are obviously someone who thinks about things rather then just plough on and ignore. I commend you’re honesty and candor.

Fore thought is better then being fore armed

Best regards…qph…

[carlos marvado]

Gemma, if you are serious about packing in escorting on this occasion, then I salute your decision. Escorts and indeed clients both tell lies and live a lie. Anita may be correct that 80% of Irish girls are liars (I dont have any statistical evidence for this) but I am certain that 100% of escorts are liars. Dont get me wrong, I'm not in the business of making a judgement here.......it's just that you have to lie to survive in this business.

From those escorts with whom I have become friendly and met socially rather than "professionally", I was left in no doubt, that it was all about money. Not one of these woman ever said to me that they enjoyed this work.....because I was a friend, they were able to be honest enough to tell me that they either needed the money for whatever reason or were addicted to the lifestyle it afforded them, but they all hated the work.

My advise to them was always the same. If you get into escorting, make sure that you have a goal or objective that you want to achieve, make sure that you cannot earn the necessary money by any other legitimate means and have an exit strategy to get out. What you say about becoming hard, having difficulty maintaining relationships, developing a distorted view of the opposite sex and possibly, eventually needing a prop to get you through the "working day", all ring true from my knowledge of working girls.

I think that escorts run the risk of loosing respect for everything over time...themselves, others, men, normality, and that the risk of psychological damage increases over time (never mind the other risks associated with this work). This should'nt been seen as all one sided. If escorts neither respect themselves or their clients, then the men who use escorts dont really respect women either. I can say that I respect some women who work as escorts, because I treated them as people, never paid them to have sex with me and never had sex with them.

I have also observed, how former "friends" can turn on one another, cheat each other and stab the other person in the back. The cause is invariably always the same....money or a perception that one girl has cheated the other. Even amongst other working girls or escort partners, nobody has any real friends, because when the chips are down it's a case of survival of the fitest and there are no rules to this game.

So my advise would be, if you are able to get out, then get out and stay out. Make sure you have the necessary means to keep you from returing to escorting.....a steady income, interesting work, good friends, hobbies and interests and social supports and eventually, somebody special who will make the thought of being intimate with somebody else abhorent to you. And if you need help and support, dont be too proud to contact those who can help you.

Good luck with your choices.

[Busty Malena]

What has finally pushed me to retire is the fact that I have been hurt, I have hurt people that I cared about and I still am hurting people that I care about. I hate lying to everyone close to me. That is no life to live. I was also becoming cold which I had to put a stop to ASAP. I want to just have a plain ordinary life starting after Galway. Work in a normal job is what I will do for a living. Yes and No I will miss escorting. Yes I will miss the money and meeting new people and no I will not miss escorting because I will be getting on with my normal life. You just need some time to yourself to think what you really want and you will make the right decision. If you want a stable relationship you will not have one while you are an escort. It is not possible when you are still sleeping with other men even though you probably keep telling yourself it's just business.. It is not!

You can text me at any time if you would like to talk and I will call you because my phone does be on divert to my receptionist when I am busy.

Gemma

At least u are not being chased by a pshyco

Good luck, Gemma

[Mystery Escort]

What has finally pushed me to retire is the fact that I have been hurt, I have hurt people that I cared about and I still am hurting people that I care about. I hate lying to everyone close to me. That is no life to live. I was also becoming cold which I had to put a stop to ASAP. I want to just have a plain ordinary life starting after Galway. Work in a normal job is what I will do for a living. Yes and No I will miss escorting. Yes I will miss the money and meeting new people and no I will not miss escorting because I will be getting on with my normal life. You just need some time to yourself to think what you really want and you will make the right decision. If you want a stable relationship you will not have one while you are an escort. It is not possible when you are still sleeping with other men even though you probably keep telling yourself it's just business.. It is not!

You can text me at any time if you would like to talk and I will call you because my phone does be on divert to my receptionist when I am busy.

Gemma

I will text you of my Irish number shortly. I am happy most of the time although I could be happier. The lifestyle I live is lavish but lonely.
I have been thinking for awhile Gemma and I do not have any qualifications and do not see a way out. I have tried to go back to an adult learning program but felt misplaced.
You are absolutely correct, when I did have partners I told myself it was only for the money. Sex with my partners became like any of the other business transactions. I do not think I can ever trust a man again. Do you think you can knowing what you know?

Mystery Escort

[Mystery Escort]

Gemma, if you are serious about packing in escorting on this occasion, then I salute your decision. Escorts and indeed clients both tell lies and live a lie. Anita may be correct that 80% of Irish girls are liars (I dont have any statistical evidence for this) but I am certain that 100% of escorts are liars. Dont get me wrong, I'm not in the business of making a judgement here.......it's just that you have to lie to survive in this business.

From those escorts with whom I have become friendly and met socially rather than "professionally", I was left in no doubt, that it was all about money. Not one of these woman ever said to me that they enjoyed this work.....because I was a friend, they were able to be honest enough to tell me that they either needed the money for whatever reason or were addicted to the lifestyle it afforded them, but they all hated the work.

My advise to them was always the same. If you get into escorting, make sure that you have a goal or objective that you want to achieve, make sure that you cannot earn the necessary money by any other legitimate means and have an exit strategy to get out. What you say about becoming hard, having difficulty maintaining relationships, developing a distorted view of the opposite sex and possibly, eventually needing a prop to get you through the "working day", all ring true from my knowledge of working girls.

I think that escorts run the risk of loosing respect for everything over time...themselves, others, men, normality, and that the risk of psychological damage increases over time (never mind the other risks associated with this work). This should'nt been seen as all one sided. If escorts neither respect themselves or their clients, then the men who use escorts dont really respect women either. I can say that I respect some women who work as escorts, because I treated them as people, never paid them to have sex with me and never had sex with them.

I have also observed, how former "friends" can turn on one another, cheat each other and stab the other person in the back. The cause is invariably always the same....money or a perception that one girl has cheated the other. Even amongst other working girls or escort partners, nobody has any real friends, because when the chips are down it's a case of survival of the fitest and there are no rules to this game.

So my advise would be, if you are able to get out, then get out and stay out. Make sure you have the necessary means to keep you from returing to escorting.....a steady income, interesting work, good friends, hobbies and interests and social supports and eventually, somebody special who will make the thought of being intimate with somebody else abhorent to you. And if you need help and support, dont be too proud to contact those who can help you.

Good luck with your choices.

Your advice is very good although escaping the Escort scene is not as easy as it seems. I have been trying for months now. The money and lifestyle is too addictive for me.
I can also admit that most of my friends do take substances to cope with working. Gemma's post touched a few nerves for me.
I hope I too will have a retirement post soon.

Mystery Escort