Ugly Betty off to a flying start

[Liza Dingle]

Of course she wants to shag him. She'll shag anyone. She acts all shy and sweet, but when she lets her air down she's a real go-er. A bit like my identical twin sister Liza.

Hello Lizbet my darling sister. So will we paint the town red tonight. I want to snog the face of some handsome young fellow. Then we''ll get a dozen kebabs afterwards. Have you any of that ice-cream left. Fat Heather wants to come with us too.

[Ugly Betty]

Maybe I'm not so ugly after all. Your even uglier than me

[Ugly Betty]

He strikes me as GAY. Now I see other blokes want to shag him? Erm, maybe you ought to stear clear Betty? No, actually, go ahead, you'd make a great gay man's wife

Oh, you are Patty. That's not very nice. You show me where it says Daniels gay. I don't see it. Where?

[eoghan]

Oh, you are Patty. That's not very nice. You show me where it says Daniels gay. I don't see it. Where?

he is, i swear, yer man from boyzone toul me betty.

i dont think your ugly, well not compared to the millys around dungiven

would you like a date betty? i can do a song and dance for you too

i,m not a virgin you know do you like my hair?

[Ugly Betty]

Forget Daniel. Your a handsome little devil. I like your accent. Sure I'll go on a date with you. I love your hair by the way.

[The Man With No Name]

Of course she wants to shag him. She'll shag anyone. She acts all shy and sweet, but when she lets her air down she's a real go-er. A bit like my identical twin sister Liza.

Elizabeth you never told me you had a sister. Now I can see why.

[eoghan]

Forget Daniel. Your a handsome little devil. I like your accent. Sure I'll go on a date with you. I love your hair by the way.

wer can i take you on a date betty beauty babe i cant wait, hope u dont mind me wearing dark glasses and do u have any better pics of yourself, like wearing somthin skimpy, and with like less of ur face

[Ugly Betty]

Ok you can have your date and I'll put a bag over my face.

[eoghan]

He strikes me as GAY. Now I see other blokes want to shag him? Erm, maybe you ought to stear clear Betty? No, actually, go ahead, you'd make a great gay man's wife

Dear patty,

PLEASE HELP!

you seem to be the wan like an agony aunt or something like that around here.

you see, ive got a date with a girl called HOT BETTY i,m all worried incase i get it all wrong.

1. at what point when i first kiss her do i stick my tongue down her throat?

2. what will i do if she laughs if i cant get a good horn for her or if i cum in my y-fronts?

3. is it the best way to find out if she wants sex on the 1st date by putting my hand in her knickers?

4. will she mind that i want her to wear a paper bag on her head while we have sex on our 1st date?

please Aunt Patty help, the angst is keeping me up all night playing with myself, i just dont know what to do

[thehighwayman]

I see you on the late late show making a tit of yourself